March 23, 2009

Gracefully yours...

Grace is very underrated, if you ask me. And it's one of those things you don't appreciate when it's there but truly notice only when it's lacking. Take the discourteous stranger who doesn't so much as spare a 'thank you' glance after you've held the door open for him/her... the restaurant that charges you for a dish that can best be described as 'inedible' even after it was returned... the person who takes what you offered once, for granted all the time... we are surrounded by a world that's fast falling out of grace. Blame about half of it on the pace at which the world is moving at.. People are always in a hurry... no body pauses to appreciate the moment and everyone is caught up with something or the other, making them lack in basic courtesy, unknowingly or not. The other half can only be labeled 'uncouthness' for the lack of basic etiquette.

How do we deal with it? While being graceful in every such scenario seems to be the ideal retort, more often than not, it's not possible in every occasion... especially when you're someone impatient... someone like me. The result is an explosion of words - to the offender or an unfortunate companion complaining about the offender, an avalanche that would've best been avoided. Still others prefer to reflect what they get... you're discourteous to me.. watch me reflect you... And when it's a passing environment, you end up being unnecessarily rude to someone who had nothing to do with you in the first place. So, neither is a great solution. It leads to further unpleasantness in any case, which is exactly what we don't want. Maybe the Gandhian-Munnabhai philosophy of being nice no matter what will ultimately work... sort of like the "spread the joy" air. You're nice to one person, who might be motivated to be nice to another and so on till it finally comes back to you. Who's to tell? Lemme start right here... Have a fabulous day ahead! :D

8 comments:

PrivateMartin said...

Hi Jaya

Long time no see.

How are you? Tell u you semms like a very good cook. The pics of all the dishes are mouthwatering.

Also regaring this post, i think if you be good to people at least you have done ur part nicely and god is watching, today i helped a blind guy in the bus. It felt good, not that i want a medal for it but something from inside tells me that u did a great job today.

I like helping people as much as i can. I have also given a some money to people who come up to u and say that they dont have money and they need to catch a bus or train home. Although somewhere i know that this guy might be faking it but a part of me says what if he is really saying the truth. what if i needed help one day and the other person thought that i am a fake.

But later when i saw the same guy doing the same thing on a different day to a differnt person i knew that this guy was really a fake.

Jaya said...

PrivateMartin -> Hope, you n yr baby n family are doing good. Long time no comments! But yes, it's nice to be innately nice without trying too hard. However I was referring to situations here where no matter how much you try the other side doesn't care and is hell bent on making it pretty bad for the others out there. But yes, at least in the case you've mentioned you've identified the guy to be fraudulent and will hence be averse to helping him. And it'll be for the worse if it makes you vary of even the genuine ones that need the help. Guess it's all a vicious circle.

Vidhya said...

Sometimes I do reflect my anger or irritation with somebody on something else.. I feel bad about it later on. It is probably me being rude to a complete stranger so there no going back fixing it. My remedy is that I do a random good deed that day.
My reasons maybe selfish (soothing my guilty conscience) but a good deed is still a good deed I guess..

Ram said...

at the end of the day, you just do what makes you feel better on having done the right thing. If it is something as simple as someone not saying thanks when I held the door for them and their parade of friends to pass me by, I'd just shrug it off, as "some people"...

on the other hand, if I have spent valuable time off my weekend, which could have been spent better in n different ways, to help a "friend" (who I haven't heard from in 6 years) move, and I don't even get a simple "thank you", I'd get furious.. the same thing goes for when someone seeks me out for some advice and I have just spent a hour trying to make them feel better and I can see that it has made a difference and they have used the advice and try to get the better of you without even an acknowledgment of your efforts!.. that case is not very appreciable..

all this is because, I thank and I like to be courteous for the slightest of things.. that in itself may be ungraceful going by my style bhai theory..

confusing and complex this world is..

Ram said...

P.S: Thanks for your post ;))

Jaya said...

Vidhya, Bala -> We can't entirely control the way we react I guess and that's what makes us humans. And Bala, 'funny guy' for the second comment. Lol.

Ram uncle said...

Graceful, yes. one should be even in adversity; at least that is what I believe in. Is it possible always? Keep trying, you will succeed.

Jaya said...

Thank you Ram uncle. We all strive to the impossible :)

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