Reflections on 2010..

Even though the month has just begun, I guess it isn't too early in the year to start recapping and reflecting on what has surely been a great year all over. And considering that I haven't come up with any smart ideas to blog about over the past few days, I think it's the perfect excuse to kick off December with a "Reflections on 2010" post.

So here we go.. lets kick off with the good of course - 

1. 6 countries - one year: Not bad at all! Of course among the 6 are 2 constant features - France, where I live and India, where my heart continues to live.. but that apart, when you add the Czech republic, Luxembourg, Germany, and Spain, it sounds like a fairly exotic mix of things done and experienced. And it truly was.

2. PhD moving: Yes indeed... as I wind down on the time allotted to the PhD here in France, things are getting moving quicker than before, even if not as quick as I'd have liked. But then hey, forward is a favourable direction. Add to that a few conference trips and a few ego trips from publications too! Hopefully 2011 will bring the joy of conclusion really soon!

3. India trip: Though it featured in the "6" countries up there, the trip itself deserves a special mention since not everyone abroad is able to religiously make at least one trip a year (in our cases its more like 2 sometimes!). So yes, definitely cherish the one month spent there.

4. Single-to-double-to-triple: This year has seen a serious dwindling in the number of my single friends. Mostly everyone is either dating, engaged or married this year and many of those who've been married have added to their families with their own little bundles of joy. Family expansions everywhere! And that just means more reasons to celebrate. As for the last vestiges of single people, I am sure they'll dwindle to zero in 2011!

5. Return of the read-a-holic: Thanks to the new Kindle, my reading quotient has gone up many a notch when compared to the last few years. Not only do I have access to all of my favourite books at one touch in a ridiculously light contraption, I can also carry my work papers - journals and stuff in it too. The result? Reading EVERYWHERE! While walking on the footpath, in the bus, in the train, at the station, you name it! And that means in just over under 3 weeks of having the Kindle, I've read more than 12 books (in addition to going to school, doing school work, shopping for home, cooking, cleaning and what not). And yes, I consider that quite an accomplishment when you know that 2 of those 12 were the last 2 massive Harry Potters and one other was the equally massive Shantharam.

Now for some of the not-so-goods.

1. The weather: Whats up with the stupid weather in Paris anyways? All of 2010, I remember less than 2 days - yes, TWO days where we didn't wear at least a sweatshirt. Which means it has been  on the dreary colder side the entire year long. And that explains the extremely early snowfall too. Come on Paris, brighten up!

And honestly, that's all the bad I could come up with. Which is great in itself, if you know what I mean! 

So here's seeing off the last 3 weeks of what has indeed been a splendid year all through..

What's on your hit'n'miss list? Care to share? Comment away! Happy rest of 2010!

The 6 friends

I don't remember when or where.. but someday I read that a person can never have more than 6 soul-close friends... that means no more than 6 people in anyone's lives knows everything about them - their deepest, darkest secrets, so to speak. And it set me thinking. And I literally counted off my fingers that I probably had 7 very close friends, but not everyone made it to the first tier amongst that. While all 7 would eventually find out whatever it is that I wanted to share with them, it was not necessarily in the same timeframe. And so I was discussing with KG yesterday that that was what had transpired between college and now. 10 years later... we retain less than 10 friends of the 100s that we met. And it wasn't because we were lousy at keeping in touch or anything.. but to put it philosophically, life just happened.

After hanging up however, I was wondering what happened if you featured in someone's 6, who didn't feature in yours or vice versa? You know what I mean? What if you considered someone super close and shared all with them (or vice versa) but they didn't reciprocate equivocally? The ones in which you both featured in one anothers' lists is of course the material that makes life-long friendships and "best friends" tags. But on the other hand, like unrequited love, does unrequited super-close friendship also wither and die? One would hypothesize that it would have to. I mean nothing can survive just one-sided, can it? Yet it happens. Just because the person you confide in doesn't confide back to you, doesn't mean his/her advice to you isn't sound or that they aren't genuinely helping out, does it? No. But of course if you did expect reciprocation, you are left spurned and such cases might indeed meet the end of the road. And if the circle of friends was entirely encompassingly finitely restricted to reciprocations, then the circles would meet at some point. And that would make it limited. 

Enough confusion. After a little more analysis, I came up with numbers. Through school, you were likely to have a maximum of 2 soul-friends... college: 2-3; post-graduation: 1-2; work: 1-2 and then a big, fat full-stop. Thereafter, even if you meet new people, even if you forge new friendships, they are never going to  equate to what you already have. It's difficult to attain a closeness with no entirely new and parallel things happening alongside with this new person. And that's how the friendship circle remains restricted.

Some food for thought huh? How many soul-friends do you have? Count on..

It’s just there!

Have you ever done this? Watched something on TV because it’s there? Like some movie you’ve seen many times over. But just the fact that you have to brainlessly only watch it and didn’t have to choose to (for instance if you own the DVD of the very same movie) makes it appealing somehow. I’ve done this more times than I can count. Somehow the appeal of something that was unintendedly chosen for me is way more than me actually going and choosing the very same thing by myself. And this kind of applies to most things for me (unless I hate it – which reverses back to the TV theory as well). What is the appeal then? Just that you didn’t have to dedicate that iota of time to choosing something that didn’t have much significance in the first place? (FYI – this theory doesn’t work well with stuff I really really like – clothes, shoes, bags, etc.) :D I guess so. Or maybe this is the true manifestation of being lazy. But then it’s Sunday morning. What did you expect?

This post didn’t make much sense, did it? Didn’t think so either. Happy Sunday!

The Amazing Me

As usual when I have some time on my hands and specifically in front of my computer, I tend to declutter my GMail Inbox. I don't know about you but even when Google has the storage counter ticking to increase every second, I have never had less than 65% of my Inbox full. And it disturbs me every time I see it. I mean how can one have 8000+ meaningful emails? Surely there was a lot of junk sitting there, stuff I'd forgotten to delete... forwards that has expired and all that jazz. So I clicked on "Oldest" to start the deletion process. And apparently I'd gotten there before and so I'd only left behind what I had then thought were meaningful emails. And I was shocked as to how many people I was once in touch with. At least 20 out of my 67 classmates in Engineering, all of my batchmates in Batch 213 of CTS, school friends, NIIT friends and building friends. All this other than the new friends at Cincinnati. I'd actually found time to email all of these people regularly updating about my life and what not. And now... now I'm in touch with less than 10 people.. all circles combined. What happened to me? Life? Age? Sense? Work? All?

Traveling solo..

Doing a PhD often entails solo travel, be it for meetings, conferences or workshops. Worse, sometimes you're left to tour exotic locations all by yourself (especially if your husband can't make it with you). Even otherwise, I have come across a lot of people who aren't squeamish about traveling alone. But here's a common issue. When you travel alone, do you end up with more pictures of the place than of you with some of the sights/sounds out there? This question is along the lines of another discussion we had over a year ago on MindBlogging - if you could ever go to movie/restaurant alone.

To answer the question raised above, I am guessing...YES for a vast majority of people. Either that.. or awkwardly positioned self-shot pictures which end up having your face 3D upfront with vestiges of the monument you wanted to capture in the background. Even while traveling in groups, I've noticed that most people are not comfortable requesting a stranger to take a picture of the entire group. And thats often a combination of one of two reasons - they are afraid that they'd mind in that we're disturbing them or that the picture they end up taking is going to be sub-par. However I believe somethings better than nothing and you could always ask someone else to take a shot if you aren't entirely satisfied by it. Or you could travel alone, use a tripod and not be shy to smile wide at a camera positioned 10 feet away with the timer blinking for 10 seconds with the possibility that some jerk is going to run away with your equipment any second. Ok the last bit is a possibility, even if unlikely. 

So what is the solution? I know some people just don't mind not having enough pictures of them in a location and it matters to them only what they absorbed visually and felt while being there. But then again, I don't belong to the "some people" category. I love having my pictures taken in all the new places I visit with whatever needs to be captured in the picture. And so, I approach random touristy-looking strangers and make exchange offers with them. Their picture for mine? A never-fail barter system. Even if only a handful of shots are up to your own quality-control, at least you have them. And even if a bunch of people turn you down, you don't know them and are probably never going to run into them ever again. And for every person that refuses to take your picture (I am yet to find one), there are 10 or more that will. So the bottom line? Don't blame shyness or your own loneliness for the fact that you didn't get enough pictures to a place you visited (unless you really really didn't mind) and instead, get out there, speak the word or play the charades (if you are language-stricken) and get what you want - a picture of you.

PS: When you give a camera to someone to take your picture, please please let it be a point 'n' shoot. If it's a fancy SLR, unless the person you are giving it has had some experience, you have a guaranteed blur!

Sands of time...

Nope, this isn't about the semi-new Prince of Persia movie that shares the second half of it's name with this blog's title. It's about how as time goes on and you reflect on some of the decisions that you've made before you can't believe you did them. Take your friendships for example. You're pretty darned fortunate if all the people you chose to be friends with and vice versa are still close enough for you to call and ramble as you please. Chances are that the friendship has faded. Sure there are those friends who far beyond made the cut that even if you spoke to them after a year, nothing has changed and you can pick up exactly where you left off. And exclusive as that category is, not too many people fit in there.

Sometimes when I look back at some of the 'friends' I've had... I find it very hard to justify why I was friends with them on one hand, or how we let it all go away on the other. And it's usually a mix of the two.There's as much relief as there is regret. Sometimes you "keep in touch" with a bunch of people, usually through one person and its almost always because this person means enough to you to do so. Of course the vice versa cases do exist. and each one is painful in its own way.

And this realization becomes stronger everytime I make an India trip. That none of my friends live where they used to when I used to be here in India. And yes, it's true... it's none. Everyone's spread across the length and width of our glorious country or worse across different parts of the US subcontinent or elsewhere in the world. And it's like playing a very complex game of chess to arrange to meet anyone even if they happen to visit the city you're in and vice versa. Throw in the spouses' schedule, the traffic situation, their new relationships and friends, and now you're playing a high-speed timed Chess as well. Ah the logistics... the pain.. the planning, all centred on meeting and spending time with those precious friends.. be it an hour, a few hours or a couple of days if you're lucky. As fate would have it, this trip quite a few friends are in tantalizing proximity and I pledge to do all I can to at least meet all of them before I leave Indian soil once more. Cheers mates!

Night blossoms

I wish this was some night-blooming jasmine I was talking about. However I am talking about those latent conditions in your body that are seemingly non-existent when you go to sleep at night.. yet when you wake up they almost seem like an integral part of you. Be it a pimple… an infection… a cold or a fever, symptoms seemingly aggravate overnight when your defenses are lowered and you’re sleeping away that “beauty” sleep.

Like I woke up with a swollen eye. And the second I woke up, I knew something wasn’t right. My left eye felt puffy. I figured I’d probably slept on one side forcing the blood to one eye (does that even happen?) And went in to brush my teeth, I could appreciate the full extent of the overnight onset of a ridiculous heat boil. The core at the rim of my eye was clear evidence of what was to come. And sure enough while it seemed to subside through the day, another night’s sleep seemed to fuel it further. I guess the WBCs are busy attacking elsewhere and are too good to fight these tiny 2 day infections. And so what do we do? I guess we apply life and world philosophy to these tiny hindrances. This too shall pass.

Broken faith?

When I suddenly think back to some things that I tend to do, I realize that I have accepted certain things without question. These have been imbibed into me from when I was very little and though I probably don't know the premise of the evolved action, I haven't bothered to question it at all. For instance, the thottu-othifying - the practice of touching something with your fingers (typically of the right hand) and brushing them across your eyelids in an action of seeking pardon. For instance if you step on a book (which represents Goddess Saraswati or knowledge, no matter if it is indeed your Chemistry textbook or instead a trashy movie tabloid), you do the action of thottu-othifying to absolve the wrongness of the deed. You see? Similarly I have unquestionably followed in the typical Hindu faith of Idol worship. And no I am not ashamed of being "backward" nor do I question the power of that faith... when one stands in front of an idol, bowed by faith, and with an almost conversational plea in front of God, I think it's empowering. Especially to believe in an "upper cosmic force", something that can change things for you the way you yourself can't.

However, the purpose for this post was none of that. While cleaning the Swami Shelf (the cabinet that holds all my Godly possessions) yesterday, I came across a broken idol of Pillayar (Ganesha). It must've broken perhaps when we moved or something. And of course I felt inexplicably sad. I also felt that this shelf was not the right place to keep the idol anymore. Instead I decided to do a Visarjan (submerging the God's idol in a water body to represent the cycle of life and death) and ended up submerging the idol in the river Marne near my house. Why? Again one of those things that was put in your head for time immemorial. Did the idol lose its power? Did I stop believing in its power now that it had broken? Did I believe that the God wasn't happy there anymore? I don't know as a matter of fact and I only did what felt right. Was it right? Was I cheapo to purportedly banish the idol away? Again, I don't know. Was the faith broken? Not exactly. I believed that the idol would rather return to the water than be displayed out there in my Swami Shelf. Ok before I start sounding any closer to butterfly net territory, let me leave it as one of those things - to each one, his own. And in matters of faith, it is whatever that works for each one.

Linguistically biased?

PS: This blog is a reflection from the same situation I've been faced at many stages when I meet new people. Nothing happened recently to prompt it.

Have you ever been faced with this situation? You're in a group of Indians predominantly speaking one regional language. And it happens to be your Mother tongue too. Yet, there are some people who assume you don't speak it well. While I've found that preposterous and ultra-presuming each time, I thought I should dig a little deeper to see what makes these people assume such things. And conclusively it was one of two things -

1. My English is so well-developed that they've assumed that I speak English with everyone around and just a smattering of the regional language, to my family included. Loosely translated: Pure BS. I mean, just because I am one "Mary" (English speaking Tamil woman - read "Peter's" female equivalent), doesn't mean I can't speak  great Tamil. Come on!

2. Dialect: Being from a TamBrahm family means that my Tamil has remained sheltered in spite of all the Chennai glory years probably because most of my closest friends are TamBrahm as well. So sure, we have a lot of specific lingo which the others probably don't understand sometimes but hey, it's a two way street . And even if it does sound different, you don't hear me mocking your poyirchu to my poyiduthu , both essentially meaning "it has gone" or use the age-old wise-crack of naan kolathuku poren (I'm going to the pond) while I ask "aathuku polama?" (Brahmin lingo for "shall we go home". Basically aar(th)u also means river in Tamil). And speaking a different dialect doesn't preclude me from understanding others. And just 'coz my vocabulary in galeej words may not match some others', it needn't lead to the conclusion that my Tamil isn't proper. 

 

I'd love to extrapolate that logic to English and see how many people actually know English. Now wouldn't that be fun... throw in the word play and we'll have a riot. Nakkal? Not really.

On the other hand, out of the blue, time's freakin' flying, don't you think?  It's the end of May!

In case of emergency...

We've all heard of  tourists being robbed (not at gunpoint or anything like that) when they were unaware of their belongings under various circumstances. It could be on a commuter train where the getaway was easy (read this) or in an extremely crowded tourist spot, like the Eiffel Tower on New Year's eve. And until my friend here in Paris, NN lost all her belongings at a beach in Spain, the magnitude of the deed didn't strike me. I mean, while we all know we have to be careful with our things to the best possible extent, not too many of us are prepared for the worst-case-scenario where the thief succeeds. She for one, lost all her papers - her passport, her French residence permit, student IDs, etc., all her keys - home, office, hotel room, all her money - cash, ATM cards, credit/debit cards, her return tickets to France and her mobile phone (which means she had none of her contacts)-  all with her handbag which she had set down next to her for a second while taking a picture of the sunset on the beach. Yes, she shouldn't have set it down. But on a vast, open space of a beach, you think it's fairly unlikely for someone to swindle you of all your belongings in one millisecond. Yet it did happen. What then? Luckily for her, she was traveling with a friend who was able to buy their tickets back and with a police report, she didn't need emergency travel documents for within the Europe. And because of the friend and all their reservations and the common nature of touristic fraud, they weren't required to disprove any illegal entry. She was able to travel back here and in a quick act of non-bureaucracy, she was able to get most of her papers replaced under a week's time. Of course it cost her heavily, but nonetheless.

Which set me thinking. What if you were traveling alone and this happened? And the thought was truly scary. What if indeed all was lost and you were alone, penniless in a foreign country? Sure you could get to the hotel somehow and scarper the rest of your belongings and owe a fine on your credit card for the keys. But what about your way back? You'd probably have to call a friend (on hotel charge) and have them wire you some immediate money to some place known and what not. Everything, a far bigger hassle than you'd want to find yourself in. And not worth any trouble at all. So what do you do?

1. Do not carry your most important papers when you are out sightseeing. Most hotels have safe deposit boxes with locks, the keys of which you can carry. It's probably prudent to stow it away there on hotel property and risk it on their safety procedure than carry it with you in a bag and risk the million thieves out there out loose. Better yet, if possible stash it on the inner coat pocket or something similar which remains close to you at all times (unless you remove your jacket at a restaurant and hey presto, it's gone again). This includes your return tickets, and other things that you wouldn't immediately be using in your short outing of the place.

2. Money matters. Weird as it may sound, it's best to leave some cash (a couple of 100 bucks) taped to your passport (in which case we assume you keep your passport safe) or inside your toiletry /makeupkit or in an equally unlikely place as a backup. And again, maybe it's best to avoid bulky wallets and the likes, which are primary targets anyways.

3.Contacts. Emergency contacts are there for a reason. Like for health emergencies and for situations like this. Either carry their information on some part of your luggage or have them memorized. Or have them stowed away in your email which you can hopefully access freely enough, thanks to all the hotels now having atleast lobby-enabled free wifi.

None of these apply to youth hostels. If you are staying in youth hostels, it's best to travel light, carry all your terribly important things, which should be minimal, on your person.

Is there anything I missed out? Is there anything you'd handle differently? Other than hitch hike your way back into town? Voice up.

Reverse psychology

While reverse psychology is potentially powerful, usually against kids or easy-to-change-their-minds adults, I've found it an impressive tool... against myself. Typically when I tell myself I can do something, I tend to slack at it and vice versa. And of course my theory is best tested against the joy of eating. You know how the moment you decide to go on a diet, there's an overpowering craving for usually something either fatty or chocolaty or ice-creamy? Exactly. It's like our heart's making a mockery of our brain. And worse, once you decide it's okay and try to quench the craving, you never stop where you should have. And before you know it, you're throwing an empty 500ml carton of Häagen-Dazs into the trash (not necessarily from the start, but certainly to the finish). 

These days I've told myself that I am allowed to eat everything. And the consequence? I've had cereal for lunch/dinner a few nights last week. Just like that. Because I actually like the cereal I have. Because I can eat anything, I prefer to eat normal. And I haven't bought ice cream or chocolates or desserts in 3 weeks. And I haven't fried anything other than 1-2 appalams some night. See? Reverse psychology can work. Sometimes.

The art of being polite..

Etiquette 101. Try to be polite as far as possible with people you meet on a regular basis.

Well, you're probably thinking that it's more like common sense than etiquette.. but believe me, some people neither know the difference nor have any regard for them. As a generation that has to deal with a variety of people, from colleagues to family to friends to strangers, we have a wide variety of social behavioral expectations bestowed upon us, whether we like it or not. And society judges us on not just how we treat our peers but also those superior or inferior to us. Somehow, the superiority takes care of itself...maybe because you’re trying to impress the people above you in professional/social standing, maybe it’s out of reverence, but mostly because you want to play it “safe”, many people end up treating their superiors better than they would, their peers. See with the peers, there is no telling who is better than whom and some people just cannot waste their precious breath in being civil around everyone else but would rather their snooty behavior do all the talking.

But let's be honest.. no one likes impolite people. And a little bit of niceness may go a long way in cementing something as unlikely as a work-level friendship even. And lets face it - the more number of trustworthy and in general nice people you have around you, the more likely they are to help you with something when you need it ; And of course the ball is set rolling only if you are a bit nice yourself. A pretty decent barter and really, what's to lose? Some sort of plant a tree.. save the environment -type motto. Be nice and you'll be treated nicely too. Ok.. that sounded better in my head, but you get the point.

The journey or the destination?

I was watching this interview of Harsha Bhogle's at IIM-A. Before going further, I must admit that I haven't yet watched it fully. I only saw the first few minutes, the part where he brings up the question of what is more important to everyone... the journey or the destination? And it set me thinking...

How do we view this almost chicken-n-egg-like question? Most people immediately tend to blurt out that it is the destination that indeed holds more of a value than the journey. The journey passes but the destination endures, and so on. But I also think that past a stage in life, we start looking at this question a little differently. We can draw many examples from everyday life to illustrate that in some cases journey trumps destination and vice versa. Here's a classic one -

For the scrimping grad student in US who's going to India on vacation - destination trumps journey. He could have 3 stopovers, save $500, reach India 35+ hours later and still be ultimately happy. Good deal!

For the high-flying executive who has money to spare - journey trumps destination. He can travel to India (or elsewhere) as he likes... he chooses the least stopover-most comfortable route, and probably in business/executive class. $3000? No problem.

Ultimately it's down to perspective, I guess. And somewhere down the line when you arrive at the conclusive math that comfort matters, the journey becomes as important as the destination. While this may seem like some weird adage applicable only to the literal journeys, spare a thought for just a moment in some other scenario.

Take completing your Masters Thesis. The actual destination is the degree itself - the conferring of the title of the "Master of Science" on you... obliterating all the crap that you may have had to endure in your journey to get there. Maybe the sleepless nights... the torturous mathematics, the relentless experiments.. all key components leading up to your defense. But no.. in the real world scenario, that is strictly just the turbulence of the airplane, which you would endure, was it in Economy class or in First class. But those friends... those night-outs together, those chai times, the midnight birthday celebrations, your entire experience out there in a new country with your new-formed associations... that's what you remember as your journey... not the other parts. And that's the part that compares to the free alcohol and legroom of the real world First-class travel analogy to the cramped seating and boring food of the Economy class. Touché.

That moment of clarity..

I am an amazing multitasker, if I say so myself...  I can do a variety of things all at once, each involving a  different dominant faculty of life, if you know what I mean. But sometimes I wish I wasn't. Not just that I could give my undivided attention to one task and sort of know I've done it.. but more so that even though I've probably done it, I should remember that I have. 

Take a typical morning for example... While leaving home, customarily, I grab a variety of things on the go. This includes a typical range of things, from house keys to ipod to my finger-slit gloves to cell phone and what not. And no, I don't "prepare" these things at a "usual" place so I know nothing is forgotten or any of that. More often than not, I trust my instinct to grab the most important things and if the trivial things indeed got left behind, nothing was lost. But sometimes, sometimes the important things plague your mind... and by virtue of habit you are sure that you did the right thing... but that one question keeps you guessing for a while till you can confirm it. 

Did I turn off the gas stove? Did I lock the door? Are the windows slammed shut and bolted? Did I turn off the lights in the hallway? Did I leave the water running? Some of the more important things you wish you knew the exact answer to. But as plagued as you are with uncertainty, you also know that as a creature of habit, 99 times out of a 100 you certainly did the "right" thing. Still, even the 100th confirmation would be a bit nice. And that's why these days I opt for the moment of clarity. A pause at the doorstep.. a half second review of things to see if everything "looks normal". A glance down at my hands to see if I have the house keys before I slam the door shut and lock myself out. And then I leave, now certain that if indeed anything was left undone, it wasn't major. That's all it needs - one moment of clarity. Peace.

Cheers CSK!

I had to blog about this... Having started out with lukewarm interest in the IPL, looking back I realize that it successfully occupied almost all of my weekends over the past 6 weeks. And it was surprisingly comforting to sit in front of the laptop/TV and watch a match that was so entertaining because of its short format.. you didn't have to endure the middle over drag, etc. For purists this might be pure blasphemy.. but not for the likes of me. The shorter format was simply more entertaining. And throw in all the antics of Lalit Modi, Shashi Taroor, all the franchises, all their it girls, all those cheerleaders and the songs, the DJs, the terms DLF Maximum, Karbon Kamaal Catch and City moment of success, you had an exceedingly entertaining, enough-to-bitch-and-rant-about on FB cocktail. And really one doesn't expect much more than this from these things.

For a while there at the league stage, I was convinced that the matches had been fixed. Too many teams were competing for the 4 semifinal berths and it almost seemed implausible that all of sudden many times rose like phoenixes from the ashes and were all neck and neck on the points and everything. That being said, supporting CSK through the initial league phase became stressful too, given their sudden slump in performance in the middle of the tournament when it looked unlikely for them to repeat their accomplishments of the last 2 editions and make the semi-finals. And just when I had switched loyalties to MI, in came Hussey and Bollinger into the CSK team. While Bollinger did make a significant change to CSKs bowling presence, I really think his entry changed fortunes for the team and suddenly they were pulling victories out of thin air... and here they are now IPL Champions 2010! Congratulations to the team for a fantastic team effort and really, if there was any Tamil citizenship, Dhoni would be a shoo-in for his excellent work as a motivating captain. (Ok, I did tire of him and the references to the red-light "areas"(yes yes, he meant the traffic signal) where people spoke to him in Tamil, etc etc..)

But here's what irks me.. With this format of the game and with things happening so rapidly all along, the organizers are not giving the spectators enough time to rejoice or savour the moment that their teams did well (or drown oneself in denial or disappointment if they didn't). Instead, they organize back-to-back tournaments which doesn't let you rejoice the game, but instead dread it. I, for one, am not looking forward to the T20 World Cup, though it would be funny to see teammates of the last week compete against one another this time together for each of their countries.

Come on organizers... let us miss some action to look forward to the next series. After all an overdose of anything can't be good. Anyone listening?

When Nature unleashes...

I see that America has declared war on Iceland. Apparently they are accusing them of harbouring a “weapon of ash eruption”, courtesy, Ten of the best Iceland volcano jokes.

If you've been remotely abreast with the latest news, you know by now that the Eyjafjallajokull volcano of Iceland erupted last week, and while it only spewed ash high up into the air and thankfully did nothing fatal to anyone (we'll talk about the repercussions of the glacier it is melting sometime later), it did disrupt the entire European airspace for about a week.. While I am currently not traveling any place, sometimes I wonder if the chaos caused by nature need be compensated by the poor airline companies who've lost billions in canceled flights and stuff, as is. On the other hand, unless you're stuck in some remote location with no civilization, I am not sure it would be too boorish of me to question if people really have to camp at the airport inconveniencing themselves and others rather than extend their stay (yes yes it adds to the expense of the trip and everything, but big picture, people!) and find a cheap hotel or something. Asking for reimbursement on canceled flights is one thing but asking for accommodation compensation is taking it to ridiculous heights. After all, it is a natural disaster. And considering the suddenly escalated number of airplane crashes over the past year, it comes as little surprise that the airspace control is playing it safe. If there's one crash in the scheme of things, guess who gets blamed once more? Really for them, it is damned if they do and damned if they don't.

On a lighter note, how does it affect me?

1. The Indian store is sort of barren and pathetic looking this week. No fresh mounds of kothamalli, no kariverpulai or pachai milagai. None of the fresh produce has arrived. Everything's probably sitting elsewhere and rotting. I heard they have a very fishy situation in the UK. The stench of rotting fish has taken over Heathrow's storage central. Which begs the question.. couldn't they just sell this stuff to the local markets or something? I am sure there's a million import/export formalities, embargo and what not to limits I can't fathom... but most times, simple is better.

2. The professors are all here. Well, it is vacances scolaire (the 2 week break for students (which unfortunately doesn't include PhDs) every 2 months - yes yes, become a student in France) and so normally the professors stack up the work on us and vanish for the vacation. But thanks to canceled flights, everyone's here.

3. Tickets are skyrocketing and the railways are overcrowded. Maybe because of the current dip in the flights, any place you look to travel, the tickets are sky-high priced. Besides the fact that the train stations are overflowing with stranded passengers trying to find some way out of this damned Paris they got into. Funny how a week-long "dream" vacation to Paris (or any other place) can become a nightmare if extended by another week....

Enough said.

PS: Happy Earth Day! And let us hope Mother Earth settles down and doesn't unleash any more wrath on us. But I suppose, it's a give and take policy. Let's save the Earth and she'll save us. :)

The art of being silent

Some people are by nature, quiet while some others like me have to express every opinion under the sun, relevant or not. However, I am living proof of the fact that this urge is directly proportional to interest in the matter and inversely to maturity. And it definitely wanes as time goes on. More than talking at opportune moments, what requires true skill and mastery is knowing when to shut up. When it was with our parents, we all knew that imminent gut feeling when in the brash course of things we said a sentence too many and just knew that we'd crossed that invisible line of respect and unquestionable authority. What's worse is when you just know that the next statement would definitely far far cross the line and yet, yet you have to say what you have to say. It's sort of like you can see the entire scene unfold in front of your eyes moments before you actually say something that'll trigger it. And knowing what you know, you'd think you could be smart enough to shut up. But no, that will-power is not something that everyone's blessed with. And if you could, you would. Instead, you choose the harder way out - saying whatever it is that you need to say and hoping against hope that something will change in the drama that unfolds. Perhaps a pleasant surprise and no drama? Most often, you aren't lucky enough. People will behave in exactly the same way they have always behaved. Did you happen to change and not say something at the inopportune moment? If that was unlikely, the exploding reactions on the other side is just as unlikely. They don't say for nothing... there are times when silence has the loudest voice.

So in short, learn to shut up when it'll serve you best. :D

If I were a school teacher in India...

You know how you fondly reminisce the days of school, all those fun and carefree days and what not? But is there something you'd have liked to change (for the better or worse) from your experience there? I went to a school that was fabulously well-known for its academic prowess, so much so that the "IIT"-headed folk promptly joined us in Class XI and our school welcomed them with outstretched arms... after all once the IIT results were published, the numbers were all that mattered.

Over the years I recollect reading a familiar announcement on the school notice boards or more so hearing about them at the school general assembly -  "We proudly announce the acceptance of 35 students of class XII into the IITs this year". And that was that - a big deal. And it didn't matter that about half of them had left schools that had brought them so far to join ours in search of sheer academic success over the last 2 years of high school. All that's well and good and seeing as I am happy where I am right now, I am not here to bitch about the school or it's honed talent at the academics. But I'd certainly have done things differently before it all got to high school and to the point where all that mattered was if we were bookishly brilliant or not.

If I were a school teacher in India I would -

1. Mix 'em up - I'd make sure that the boys and girls were encouraged to sit next to one another and know each other as people rather than as genders. I don't know about your school but our school didn't say anything per se about boys and girls sitting next to each other or talking to each other... but because of the frowned upon nature of the deed, you could hardly see it happen, not that this led to dramatic repercussions.. but why isn't there something as innocent as friendship between the genders? I never got it. I still don't. And I feel that it added to the gender frustrations and could be avoided if the boys and girls just grew up as friends. And if it did bloom into romance at a later date, why would the school care?

2. Culturally promote - "Culturals" or the intra-school, inter-school events of typical singing, dancing, word wars, adzaps, etc were a big part of growing up. Indeed participation in such events is probably the only credit to mixing with kids from other schools and about the only time that we weren't forced to keep up with our academics (they didn't coincide but of course we were expected to up our performances by the time the fortnightly wrongly named assignments (to mean tests) came up). But I guess being culturally brilliant earned you the "cult" status amongst your peers but little recognition from the staff. Some people are good at all these other things but it took the scores on tests to score with our teachers. I sure hope that out-of-the-book talents were recognized and encouraged to let them bloom.

3. Encourage diversity - In interests, in activities, in the classroom and elsewhere. I don't know if you've noticed... but in India unless you belonged to the Medicinal or Engineering fields, people directly assumed that you failed to get the marks/scores that were required to make the cut-off. No, it was not possible for a high-scoring student to opt for the commerce/arts/literature/etc. branch out of interest. And indeed the choice was questioned so many times that it probably confused some who weren't entirely sure themselves. WTH?

4. Bring on the counselors.. - I guess the pre-college counseling was a misnomer too. It was more of a mathematical possibility of matching the "available seats" to your score/ranking and whether you desired a "free seat", "payment seat" or were willing to shell out far more cash for a "management quota". These were standard terms used at the Engineering counseling, where they counseled you for nothing... all they did was match your financial liability to the branch you thought you wanted at the college that was most convenient to you or well-ranked or both. Rather it would've been enormously beneficial to have someone to talk to before you chose your branch in school to choose the stream of study you were likely to follow.Actual counseling. Someone who could tell us where our aptitude lay, what we might be happy and good at doing and what career path that would lead to and how we could get there. Instead, all mature 15 year olds we were expected to choose a path that would define what we became for the rest of our lives. And it's only sheer coincidence if you currently enjoy what you do, for seriously you couldn't have known better.

I am sure there's a lot more to crib about as far as the educational system is concerned... Any cribs/words of appreciation for your schools and teachers? Please share.

Homecoming..

You know how some people feel very depressed to come back to an empty house? I kinda agree when you know it’s going to be empty forever types.. like if your significant other is out of town or something. But on the contrary I prefer having the house to myself for an hour or two before the husband comes. It gives me some time to kick off my heels, chill with some chai and get some lone time, watch some random TV, cut up whatever veggies I prefer and what not, simply lost in my own thoughts for that hour or two. In such cases solitude is heaven and helps you deeply appreciate the company when it arrives. This isn’t to say that I don’t love coming home to the husband.. indeed I do but this is only the other best-case scenario. Anyone out there agree?

The how to and Youtube

In the recent past, ever thought of "how to                                " and ended that thought with youtubing it? Now fill in the blank with just about anything... Here are some examples -

1. How to make palak paneer

2. How to start swimming

3. How to punch properly

4. How to exercise more effectively

5. How to sew buttons

If you haven't, you are one of the lucky few who's still using some imagination to try out things the way people used to in the past. By actually trying. Come the era of youtube, everything is revolutionized into the one thought - if you can see it done, why shouldn't you? Fair enough.... especially with recipes and stuff.. where mere words on a book (even with accompanying photographs) can't compete with the experience of watching it done right. Take S for example. Everytime he tries a new recipe, it's youtube version plays on the laptop at least 3 times. Once when he is checking if it is easy or exciting enough... second time as he gets his ingredients ready and third and last which plays with pauses as he follows it step by step (even carrying the laptop into the kitchen at times when the recipe is a bit complicated). Pretty handy, huh? And for someone like me who improvises on the go, I find it smart but very amusing too. 

Like I mentioned though, recipes... sure.. why not? But some of the other things are ridiculous. And though I call them ridiculous, I can't find a singular fault in people seeing how someone else does something first before trying it themselves, except maybe lack of imagination. And that's not a fault. And it's just the luxury afforded to us by the modern world and something we should definitely take advantage of when we can. What's most amazing of all I guess is that there are actual people like you and me who upload videos of themselves, sometimes filming the most mundane activities of life, like sleeping. And I don't know what's worse - them uploading or us watching. Do you know how many videos are there out there to "learn" to walk? Go figure.