April 20, 2009

No means Yes

Ah, we've read a million forwards about how women think differently from men... everything from how we decode things that aren't coded to how when we say something, we actually mean the exact opposite thing. Quite the confounding species, us women. While I beg to disagree with so many sappy and silly stereotypical characteristics slapped on us, I have to grudgingly agree that a lot of times we say things that sound right but is not necessarily what we want from the bottom of our hearts. I think the most famous examples are when "no" means "yes". Here's a classic example -

Him: Hon, Our anniversary's in a week.. What do you want me to get you?
Her (what she says): Oh never mind, hon. Let's just go out to a quiet, romantic dinner, just us.
Her (what she probably means): I don't want anything extravagant but maybe you'll figure out something small to surprise me.
What he thinks: My wife's the best. Now I don't have to worry about getting her something she'll like. Whoosh!

And so he gets her nothing. Elementary mistake. Of course she's gotten him something to surprise him - a shirt, a cologne... something to say she cared. Yes, she did say she wanted nothing... but that didn't mean that he should have obliged immediately. It's not like he listens to everything else that she tells him anyways. No flowers even? Come on!

Typical scenario. At least most girls are like that. Hidden gestures... hidden thoughts. There are exceptions to this of course and some girls really didn't want anything except the quiet dinner. Those husbands/bfs lucked out. But the men soon learn to read the clues and try to make up for the fiasco. At least with the anniversary, you know you messed up coz she got you something. Good luck with the other occasions, like birthdays and Fridays and all that..


Gandalf said...

Women... Pffft.

Googler said...

"Birthdays and Fridays and all that" - I like that!

PrivateMartin said...

Hi jaya

How do you come up with all this. Amazingly its all true, it all happened to me, the exact same scenario... i have now learnt my lessen. and even though she says i dont want any thing i try to get something she might like.

good work!!


Deepak said...

I second googler's comments! Fridays?? Haha!

Jaya said...

Gandalf, Googler -> Thanks :D and keep visiting :)

PrivateMartin -> At least you learnt your lesson :P

Deepak -> Hehe, thanks. Keep visiting!

The Muse ... said...

Well...I'm gonna give a girl's take on this. When I say no - I mean I don't "need" it. But it does not mean I don't "want" it.

Guys better get up to speed with the concept of "pampering". :).

Jaya said...

The Muse -> Good one :)

Monsal Varga said...

The same with "What do you think about (new curtains, new clothes, new anything)?"

Women don't care for an honest opinion, they just want to hear that we agree or approve or think alike her (about that subject / object / whatever).

If the man says something like "Well, frankly I think it would be better to.. (anything different from what she expected)" then forget it, she won't take notice of your opinion unless for those 30 seconds she'll just confirm that she'll be following her own original idea.


(I sense I bought a war with this one)

Jaya said...

Monsal -> Big surprise... I disagree... of course we want your opinions... but since we naturally have a better inclination for this stuff (and frankly we care more if something "goes" with something else or not), we think our opinion's the heavier one :P. And of course if you did agree with what we thought initially, it would appear as though we were putting your plans into action in the first place and hence give you the "illusion of power". :P

Monsal Varga said...

LOL! the "illusion of power" LOL!!!!

Jaya said...


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