April 21, 2009

Yup-pee

Ah well, I've avoided writing about this because it's not something you necessarily want to write about. But I figured almost everyone has been confronted with this situation, probably a lot of times in their lives - the urge to pee and with no available loo around. It happens in the most inconvenient of situations of course... long drives, longer journeys, mehendi (henna tattoo) on your hands, you name it... And once you find that elusive loo after what felt like your bladder might burst, the literal relief is probably the most palpable form of relief that one can feel. It's like all your tensions ease away (other than the literal tension of the bladder muscles loosening up). Back in India it never happened... maybe because I was subconsciously aware that the public latrines were best avoided. And ever notice how when you have to pee, that's like the top-most thing on your mind? You can't stop thinking about the fact that you have to go. Like all the other times when you don't, you are not even remotely thinking about the loo or anything in it's whereabouts. I can't remember the number of times that I have literally calculated the minutes to the nearest usable loo in such situations and coaxed myself that yes, I can make it and I won't pee in my pants. But gosh.. once or twice I didn't think I'd make it. I remember once when I had to return from renting a car here in Paris, I couldn't find parking near the house (of course you've read my woes on parking. You haven't??? Here you go!) and I'd had like 3 million gallons of water before going to pick up the car (I neither anticipated wanting to pee nor the lack of availability of parking - one of my rookie mistakes). And it was pure hell. I finally found parking about 2km away... figured I couldn't hold back from peeing all the way back home... almost considered diving into a café for a fake cup of coffee while really all I wanted to do was to use the toilet... but then reconsidered the option for having to fake niceties, looking at the menu, ordering, drinking more fluid and then going to pee. Instead I decided to keep up the momentum and semi-sprinted back home... only to discover that someone was moving out/in from/to our apartment.. bah, who cares? My apartment's on the ground floor and all I needed was half a foot of clearance to squeeze in, find my door and hop to the bathroom. It wasn't to be. For a frustrating 10 minutes, a huge cabinet blocked my door as the woman in charge apologized profusely and I tried to be as gracious as one can be in the situation... but looked nothing like it, while crossing and uncrossing my feet, making impatient sniffs and finally bolting through the door as if something was on fire. Something was. And two minutes later, I was lighter and relieved. I vowed never to do this to myself ever again.. to use the loo as liberally as required, go even if I didn't have to where there was a clean one available... blah blah. Needless to say, I haven't succeeded and neither was that my last time.

12 comments:

Gandalf said...

You've described it sooo perfectly! And why didntya wanna write about it? Everyone's had the problem... or they're lying. Excellent post.

Anonymous said...

What a description! Will you judge me if I say I wanted to pee after reading the mere description? It's that accurate.

Jaya said...

Gandalf n Anon -> Thanks!! :) I m all pleased :D

mysticmelodiez said...

Read your post earlier today. We had the emergency prep drills, yet again on our Cal State campus. Was evacuated twice from two consecutive buildings that I happened to be in today (lucky me!). The second happened abhi haal..., and here was this poor soul who couldn't fathom the merit of the evacuation because she was escorted out of the loo the second she entered, it with the alarms going off (oh and the fact that its a bloody 105F here in OC, doesn't help either..,). Was reminded of your post, lolz so had to comment. For someone who considers herself to be quiet sensitive to others, i did surprise myself by feeling torn between reacting to the girl's plight (coz we've all been there sometime) and the humor in the situation, hmm. Nice post, as usual, glad you penned it despite your initial apprehensions :)

cheers!

rajni said...

LOLOL u are hilarious Diiiiii!!!!

Jaya said...

Mysticmelodiez -> Being on campus is not the worst place to be when you want to pee... if there's an emergency drill in one of the buildings, there's always going to be one nearby.. or the cafeteria or any place. But I think my situation was way more dire!

Rajni-> Hmph! Glad you think so :P

Monsal Varga said...

Now here's one topic that much people wouldn't feel comfortable talking about!

Next time just ask for a mineral water but go straight to the toilet. THEN, calmly, return to your seat. Neat, hu?

Jaya said...

Monsal -> I feel weird doing that. :) Which is why I hopscotched to the house only to have Murphy prevail all over again! Hmph.

mysticmelodiez said...

lol i agree :p

Shiva kumar Shankar said...

been there done that (pretty sure every1 would say it!). Well posted. I have learnt my lesson, my worst are long drives. Hence I am careful to drive without consuming water for long, or even if there is a slight urge, just take a break and go!

Cos when you gotta go, you gotta go :D!

Sachin said...

Yes, everyone's been there. And me too, u wud remember, when we 4 were going to Gatlinburg. That was the only time I peed on the sides of the freeway in US.

Jaya said...

Thanks all of you for the public endorsement! :P

Shiva -> Totally agree...
Sachin -> That was a hell of a traffic jam, wasn't it? Gosh! Thank the trailer that hid u!

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