February 19, 2009

The Unlikely Confidant

As a person, I find that I take an instant shine to many people and learn to trust them instinctively, which is quite unlike any true Scorpion. However, true to my nature, I find that I can talk on and on endlessly on topics that are of intellectual/worldy interest to me but not necessarily of personal nature. In fact it takes me a while to confide anything remotely personal to anyone even when they are very close. Of course a select few make it all the way and they hold many keys to my many inner thoughts. But surprisingly so do a few others that aren't immediately apparent in the "super-close" category. They're in attendance by absence. Through the different phases of my life, I have trusted a select few individuals to my deepest and darkest secrets, so-to-speak. I suppose that the key to that is that they're not immediately identifiable to anyone as my specially-recruited confidant(es). And they are on a special level of connection with me and they know it and that's what completes the bond of trust. Perhaps the most important reason that they were bestowed (read cursed) with knowledge of my inner-most thoughts is that I don't expect any judgment from them. And this is the most important thing to me. My closest friends are capable of judging me.. of pointing out instances where I've erred in the past and of basically muddling my original views. Which I appreciate and expect in them. But this is also why I need these other people in my life. To talk to freely... to expect them just to be a sounding board of sorts and directly reflect at me with objectivity. Ironically, these people know me best. They are the unlikely people to hear first of anything of a very personal nature and I use them to decide if I want to share the thoughts with even the bestest of my friends. Of course they all hear of it ultimately... but only when I am finally comfortable talking about it and probably not while it's happening.

The reason I suddenly thought of this is because of this - Throughout our lives we tout so many people as our "best friends" and for many good reasons, they are. My best buds are the ones I would want to hang out with at any given point in time. I also realized that I probably don't openly give out the importance of these other people in my life. That's what keeps them special I suppose. And their presence in my life is as important as is restricted. And all this made me wonder if it was just me... with these different categories of "close friends". Or is there anyone out there who shares my weird trait? Speak up.

Unrelatedly, Happy Bday AS.

4 comments:

karmanna said...

:)

Anonymous said...

Why do you call it weird? With billions of people on earth, evolution must have resulted in numerous people sharing your trait.

g said...

happens all the time :) however, it sure helps to acknowledge and appreciate the presence and importance of these confidant(es) in our lives, in one way or the other. Mainly because they often help me keep those (best buds) I consider close that way, by helping us avoid premature discussions with them.., if that makes sense :)

Jaya said...

Thanks for the comments, all you guys. I appreciate it. Keep visiting!

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