December 1, 2009

The inner paradox

Sometimes I am amazed by what I want to do and what I really want to do and how much they differ. And this paradox is usually a result of fulfilling other's expectations of me, projecting a more flattering image of myself or something similarly irrelevant. Atleast that's understandable when it's something stupid. Like not eating the last bit of the shared chocolate-something-delicious at a restaurant for the want of not appearing gluttonous even though you'd really just like to have it. I am actually talking more about things that you'd normally think are more serious and hence the course of action, pretty straight-forward. Like reactions in my case. I consider myself a true Scorpion in every sense of the word (though not believing all that much these days in all that Linda Goodman astrological mess - ok, there's another paradox for you). You would then think that negative reactions like spite should come easily to me. But yet again, I am caught in the middle of being truly vengeful and just plain nice and mostly the good trumps the evil. And the part of me that believes that I am capable of true spite is truly saddened. See the paradox? Even being good can sometimes make you feel bad. As always I am going to extrapolate a simple thought to something a bit more complex. Some people for instance just deserve to be at the receiving end of spite sometimes and the “bad” that you’re feeling is being unable to mete out what you think is the right treatment to them. The really funny part is where only the bad things stand out in our heads immediately whilst obliterating everything good that might’ve been in the past. One bad experience can wipe out a multitude of good ones in a second while it takes more than just one good experience to overcome just the one bad experience. Isn’t that weird? Go on, give it a thought. Think of that restaurant you stopped going to because their service sucked one time even though they’ve given umpteen good ones before that... or that brand of milk you stopped buying because once it was bad. Ever noticed it’s similar with people too? One act of distrust for example is going to take a long time to wipe away from memory while all those good things before were not given enough credit as they were. Scientifically it means just one thing - Good and bad are neither white and black respectively nor weigh the same on any scale. Why all these inequalties? It’s just in human nature, I guess.

On that philosophical note, this post marks the 600th for MindBlogging overall and the 200th this year. Pretty momentous, I'd say... Thank you readers for keeping me motivated. Keep MindReading!


Priya said...

600! woaa! thats a fab milestone Jaya. Have loved reading your blog, so keep them comin' :)

Post a Comment