Psycho fear

This post is by my good friend, Vidhya who has been wanting to write a guest entry for quite some time on my blog.. So, have fun (rather get scared!)




Most people who know me know I have this humongous fear of psychos .... everytime a new person hears me say this... they are like "Where does that even come from? It's not like u meet a new psycho everyday and you know them enough to be scared of them." But like they say... its the fear of the unknown. and like I say fear of the illogical.My most famous answer to the typical "Are you scared of ghosts?" is "No..I don't know if they exist..so I don't know if I should be scared. But psychos... I know they exist. I am scared of them..really scared..its my biggest fear." (Ok.. so there you have something that you probably didnt know of me before reading this!)

Proved by the fact that all of us once saw this movie "Campfire Tales" which is like this collection of scary stories and the story which freaked me most(and I could not sleep well for the next 3 days) was the one in which this guy meets an 11 year old girl on the net and then comes to her house knowing her parents are not there and kills her dog OVER the stories in the which people get killed brutally in lonely jungles by weird creatures, ghosts haunting people and killing them...What did I tell you all!!"Me is scared of Psychos"..hehehehe

The first time I saw one of those psycho movies (it was SCREAM to be specific) ... I was shocked..petrified..there was no logic to any of those acts...killings they were..but I would rather there was some logic to why they happened. Ok, if not something as sensible as killing the killer's family burning his/her house,teasing/raping /cheating the younger/older sister/brother like our hindi/tamil/... movies ......atleast something as trivial as act of anger/passion! But no here were people who were stabbing each other while they were talking to each other (in the last scene to be specific). Thats when I started reading up on psychos, serial killers, their crime stories...and I used to wonder how can u be screwed in the head, kill people and how will people around you not know..I mean there are so many people around...family(I mean they r always there) and if not ...neighbours (nosy maamis. How do you get rid of them.. If you find out, please pass on the info to me as well...have been trying to do that for years now! Gosh!!), milkman(he knows you from ur bachpan...if not he atleast knows you enough to know ur schedule), laundry wala, Grocery store wala(he knows u enuf to have the usual stuff sent to ur house on the 1st of every month), paperwala.. so many thoughts..fear of the unknown like I said...

But I was in India when all these thoughts swarmed in my head. When I came to US and we were driving through freeways and there I saw them...hugeeeeeeeeeee farms...and right there...bang in the middle of that farm a house...and no civilization around for atleast 40 miles. I had found the solution..I screamed(almost screamed Eureka!) "They must live here" (ofcourse everybody else in the car inlcuding my then boyfriend(now husband) gave me this look which I usually reserve for people whom I doubt of being psychotic).. The psychos who continue to kill people without others knowing must live here..nobody knows them.. God knows in how many years they must not have met others(except the ones they kill ofcourse..muhahaa)

ok J tells me(as I am typing) I am being judgemental... that not all of them are psychos...But all I am trying to say is the kids who grow up in such isolated places...no junta around..no socialization with other humans...its such a conducive environment for them to become PSYCHOS and continue to be so without others knowing.

So... question answered and hence fear rooted deeper inside me( DUH!! my answer meant they exist..who knows when u might encounter one)

Cut to last week (hindi movie style...2 years later...me still with my morbid fear of psychos..roomies aware of my fear and also of my skills of exaggeration or nautanki as they say)
I went to the library to get some movies. I found this movie called "Kiss the Girls" and read its description. I remembered reading review long time back and thought why not..though description did mention it was abt a psycho, serial killer..c'mon I am brave..and even if I am not its fun to be a li'l scared sometimes(the stress is on li'l here). I got home told the roomies that I wanted to see the movie and was excited about it and was warned by roomies with dire consequences that I shud not repeat previous week's stupid act of starting a good movie at 10.00 in the night on a weekday when they have to get up early every weekday morning. Hyped the situation(as usual) and told my roomies they had to be home by 9.00 on friday night as we had to see the movie together and it would be fun!!

Friday Night (Scene)-
Roomies home at 8.59 PM(literally) and letting me know in a sarcastic tone that they are home before 9.00 ..yeah yeah!!I do have a clout over them....didn't you know!!!Ok fine. That might just be in my dreams..HMPH!(as J says.... its her blog shud use her style word a l'l :))
We start dinner and movie. Starts not too scarily...Guy dragging a girl whose hands are tied,hair upheaveled, shabby so on and so forth...she is begging him to not kill her...and all he wants her to say is " I love you"..she says it...not sincere enough...cut to next scene she is dead.

Then some normal drama of a police officer (Morgan Freeman) whose niece has been kidnapped by the same serial killer along with 8 other women, 3 of whom(obviously none of the 3 is the niece... Duh!!warna suspense kaise rahega) were found dead in the jungle. By the time Morgan Freeman comes from Maryland (or was it NY??Bah!! does not matter) to North Carolina -research triangle(here we go off into this techy discussion of the history of research triangle-hmn digressing tch..tch!!) we had finished dinner. Then P goes inside the bedroom with her fone leaving us watching the movie. When the killer who calls himself casanova and will be addressed as casa by me for the remainder of the blog, entered Ashley Judd's house to kidnap her we were at the end of our wits. It was a sight to behold with J seeing the scene thru the spaces between her fingers(which were part of her hands protecting her face from casa-muhahaha), V looking the other way and asking me what was happenning and me gritting my teeth, clenching my hands still seeing the movie.

After a few more nerve wrecking scenes when Ashley Judd was ready to escape from Casa's clutches there we were again P(who was back by now) & me clenching each other's hands now for support and other 2 in their old positions of the veil of fingers and head turned the other way. And so we continued till the end where we came face to face with Casa. At the end of the movie we exchanged a few fearful glances before anyone opened their mouths again. The only thing any of us could say is how scary it would be if we were in the situation.Then we were informed that our door had not been locked a few days back in the night by one roomie and we all swore we would check the door 2 times atleast every night.

To surmise the situation they are out there and we need to be on our guard. I mean we know the stories of the killers who have been caught but not all of them have been and their stories might be more gory. So the next time you enter your house and a stench hits you its probably not the trash you haven't thrown out in a week but your neighbour whos killing innocent people by the night or day and storing the bodies( or worse body parts) in his house........No!!Duh!!!I am kidding ...It may be the guy who lives in opposite building ...Muhahaha...

Television in the United States

I was jobless at 5:00PM last evening (believe me I did a lot of work through the day) and so flipped the TV on. And what should I see but The Maury Show. I don't know if any of you have seen or heard of it. But its one of those shows with the audience watching. And its one of those shows where you disclose to your spouse (or bf/gf) that you cheated on them with someone else (usually a close associate of the spouse, or a relative) or you maybe telling them that they are not the father of your 20 children. And this is just one show. There are many many cheesy, useless shows like this one: Cheaters, The Jerry Springer show, The Tyra Banks show to name a few.

It beats the hell out of me to understand why people would wanna tell a loved one the deepest, darkest, most shameful secret of their life, in audience view (nonetheless jobless millions like me who may happen to catch it on TV) and then weep, and dramatize on TV. Sometimes, the stories are sooo recurring I am sure these people are paid to come onstage and create the emotional drama. No one in their right minds would wanna expose themselves and embarrass themselves and their loved ones like that on TV.

On one hand, atleast the Maury show has the consent of the people appearing. Whats Cheaters about on that note? Some creep sneaking up on you and your personal life with video cameras and crews stalking you... (ok.. u might be doing something morally wrong, like say, cheating on your wife - but they can leave you to deal with your morals - you don't need some third person telling you what you're doing is wrong!) Another thing I don't understand is, how is this happening in the US? Aren't there privacy laws? Can't these people sue these shows? Whats that about?

And whats with all these judicial shows on TV? There are these: Judge Mathis, Judge Judy, Judge Hatchet and what not. All these people listen to lousy third-rate cases and pass verdicts on them. God! I miss the Tony Danza show on that note. It used to come every morning at 10:00 I think. He was rocking... looked nice, had a great voice and his show had many mini portions - an interview with a star, a small cookery thingie, the streets of NY something, etc. It was pleasant, nice and charming. Why can't more shows be like that?

All said n done, I think the best part of the TV shows are the evening sitcoms - Friends, Seinfeld, Raymond, Will n Grace, My wife n kids, King of Queens and all that, wherever you can catch them (If you time yourself well you can catch one of these in quick succession to the other in different channels!) And some shows like House, Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty, etc. Or the reality shows - So u think u can dance or maybe Hell's Kitchen, etc. The worst of the lot are the "fashion" shows like Desire or Fashion House, which come across as sooo sleazy you can weep!

Ok, I guess I've written a mini-saga here... Enough cribbing... I thank the TV for making the evenings go by though I am a pure bookworm and hardly used to spare time for the Idiot Box.. up until now.......

Reflections on Sudha

Ok.. I m going to quickly summarize the pros and cons of a truly liberating Carnatic vocal concert by renowned Sudha Ragunathan.

Pros

1) It lasted 3.5 hours and was sheer joy and bought back fond memories of the December music season back in India
2) Most songs were fairly popular ones (and she even sang a varnam - a slightly unexpected event at a concert)
3) The accompanying musicians were damn good
4) Some audience requests were entertained
5) Right here at UC and importantly FREE!

Cons

1) Sudha was a li'l hoarse - not her best performance
2) The audio at DAAP left a lot to be desired for
3) One keerthanai was about 45 minutes long with huuuuuuuge gaps of vocal performances, completely interspersed with a lot of mridangam and the morsing (well it was all good.. but really, we were there for Sudha.)

All said n done... a carnatic concert is a treat for the soul, especially for someone like me who has learned it for a better part of my life.. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Kudos to SABHA for organizing the event and lets hope there are more to come, before I leave UC, selfishly so...

A postcard from Diwali

A picture sure as hell can substitute a 1000 words... A glimpse from a simple Diwali celebration at home in Cincinnati...

Diwali

First off, here's wishing everyone a very very Happy n Safe Diwali!

Its that time of the year again... when I feel most homesick.. when I feel I SHOULD be in India, no matter what. I miss everything about Diwali.. the crackers, the sweets, the colours, the Lakshmi Puja, the smoke, the TV programmes, the smell of gunpowder in the air, long after the crackers have rested, the sky going ablaze with sky crackers, the lights, the Diwali "marandhu" - that sour, horrible thing you had to eat, the sleepless night before with my bro, the early mornings, Jani (our building's ex-doggie) running and hiding under the staircase, the travel to the temple with a million stops waiting for every atom bomb on our way to explode, pinching my ears shut, the lamps, the million phone call wishes and so much more I could go on forever.

I think off the top of my head, if on any random day you were to ask me which day I would like to be transported to India... it would have to be Diwali. I miss crackers sourly... expecially the "Red Forts", my favourite variety to burst. Yeah yeah, I know its like "burning money" literally (but I have never had more fun doing it) and yes, I also know that its child labour (but its not like the cracker industry can't function without child labour.. that they arent doing it is not entirely my fault!) and air pollution ( I have no smart responses for this one).

Back when my bro used to be in India, we had a ritual almost... We used to stay up half the night watching some silly TV and then shower at 3:00am and be downstairs with our first "lot" of crackers by 4:00am... all b'coz we had to be THE first ones to create the bang from Sai Dharshan. Ah those were the days... we used to exhaust the morning lot of crackers well past 7:30am and then be rushed upstairs to attend Dad's fone call (he was in the middle east at that time). Then Amma used to force this Diwali "marundhu" down our throats. I used to hate it... it had this extremely pungent taste about it... After that, we just about had time to hog on all sorts of sweets n savories, catch a few glimpses of Kunnakudi Vaidyanathan's genius on the violin bfore falling into an exhausted slumber... The routine changed little once my dad was back from the Middle East for good. Because by then, my bro was out here in the US. So, my dad virtually substituted my bro.. And we had a blast... literally, bursting crackers like maniacs.

Late-afternoon, early evening types, the women of the house (I am a girl!), decked themselves in all their newly purchased grandeur and used to whisk us to the temple. And those were the times we delighted in stopping the car sooo many times, waiting for every 'bomb' on our way to explode peacefully rather than rip our tyres apart... The temples had the hugest serpentine queues of the year, only closely competed by Tamil new Years.. And once back, the evening saw us with a huger lot of crackers, more people (the cousins used to join in) and more fun...

Meanwhile, the elders of the house had their own entertainment in front of the Idiot Box. The different channels would all fall over themselves to try and provide the best programmes of the day. What better news for the consumer than that... With some major Rajini movie on one, and a Kamal flick in the other, it was more a question of what to watch than what not!

The kids (us) were back home in time for some sumptuous dinner... some more TV, while the elders settled in for cards, more crackers later that night... Oh God... whats there not to miss?!?!
So, all u folks out there with the opportunity to celebrate... Go ahead, let your hair down and party, burst all the crackers you want... Think of us.. who'd give anything to be there now... Eat allllllllll those sweets (get a toothache.. I dont care... anyways dentists are cheaper out there!!), watch all the TV you can.. Take this time to live life...

Happy Diwali everyone!!!

Swara Raaga Sudha

I donno about u... But if you are half the carnatic music fan that I am, this is something you wouldn't miss for the world. Sudha Ragunathan's giving a concert... right here at UC... All for free... What more could you want? Check this out and be there :-)

Dream diary

You would think that to prompt such a post I must have had a phenomenally interesting dream last night. Quite the contrary... I had one of those inconsequential, baseless and incongruous dreams where my dad does my homework. WHY? Thats something I don't have an answer to.

While walking to school with my roommate, I reflected on some of my more colourful dreams. And I mean literally... I can remember the clothes people wore, the colours of the upholstery and virtually every conversation. Its like a movie every night. And I dont know about you... but it has its "intervals" when I toss n turn n get up after which it kicks back and resumes.

Most of my dreams have been the action-movie types... totally lifted off some action flick, where I am the heroine saving the world, or some abandoned puppies or just about anything. I tried once interpreting my dreams once. I am the impatient variety and I could'nt sit n read through the whole thing. I got to the part that seemed like it would unlock my dreams-

Page 231: Heroic dreams: Such dreams occur to those who are insecure on the inside and want to prove a point to the world. These dreams are usually fraught with a lot of events, violence at the end of which the dreamer arises victor............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

What a truckload of bullshit... Given a chance to interpret my own dreams, I would rather say it displays "love for the peace of the world" or atleast "love for animals" (Both of which are true).

Page 437: Incongruous dreams: Dreams with no pattern or concurrency occur to the restless mind. Such dream patterns show a disturbed sleep and the REM (Random Eye Movement) of such a person is extremely high expressing a high state of alertness. At this phase, this person can be woken up with much ease than otherwise. These dreams need not necessarily mean anything............... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And thats when I gave up trying to interpret my dreams. I did'nt need a book to tell me that. And certainly not a 500 page one at that... I think my friend's interpretations of my dreams are far more interesting than what these experts offer in books. For example, a friend remarked, "Maybe you want a dog.." when I told her the doggie dream. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? I can hear her voice in my head now interpreting my recent-most dream - "You miss your dad." Yep... thats about it...

On a concluding note, I googled "Dreams". Guess what it churned up? There's actually a dream hotline - 919-933-4377 where you can call up for free and recount your dreams. I'd rather do a dream blog to share my own nocturnal experiences... what say u?

Lage Raho...

Of late, I realize that the only blogging I do with any dilchasbi is movie reviews! And yeah yeah, I realize I am a good amount of time late... But I had to dispense my visesh tippani on the movie having caught it an entire month late...

With soo many phenomenal claims about the movie, the expectations were sky high and I must say it did not disappoint one bit. Munnabhai and Circuit are right on track with the sequel to the legendary Munnabhai MBBS. I did not watch a cheap version on Freesports simply because I didn't want to ruin the experience for me and after a failed trip to Indianapolis a month ago (we were wrongly informed on the internet that it was running in this remote multiplex) to try and catch the movie on the big screen, I was determined to wait some more till the DVD (or a rip) came out. And then came the opportunity, all golden... Sachin's birthday, a wonderful downloaded version, boasting to be better than the theatrical experience itself, at where else, but 427 ERC, our very own fashioned kutti theatre.

Most of the cast of the movie is very familiar. The movie itself, rolls out on a similar note of what seemed like an extortion with Circuit executing it as the henchman of Munnabhai, who is the same old dada... and this sequel doesn't pick up where the original left. Munna is not married to Gracy nor is there a Short Circuit in picture. They are very much single and ready to mingle... Ofcourse they had to create some space to introduce the very appealing Vidhya Balan somewhere. And Boman Irani is back again (without him Munnabhai wouldnt be what he (it) is). This time he is a Punju Sardarji and a businessman, with a mildly evil business-oriented mind.

Unlike its prequel, for the lack of a better word, this movie comes with a theme, woven delicately in the background. There is a Baapu (Gandhiji) sentiment interweaved with the workings of the human psyche. And just when there was some disbelief on my part to think that the movie had some supernatural effect to it with Munna being able to see Baapu and communicate the Gandhian ideas to the world, they revealed that he was really just a hallucination created by his own psyche. The scene where this was revealed was dealt with quite brilliantly and jars you to the reality that this is.

Also, making an appearance once more are a few other familiar faces like Jimmy Shergil, our Dr. Rustum, Pappa and the others all in tiny li'l cameos, effective and comical. Vidhya has done a good job and has a role fairly equal to what Gracy boasted in the previous movie. This movie had its share of sentiments and "touching scenes" as well... one being notably when Circuit and Munna share a heavy moment laden with tears and sentiments, very uncharacteristic of the pair and leaving the audience a little uncomfortable.

All in all, with a brilliat screenplay, great dialogues, excellent cast, and terrifically-timed comedy, this movie had the sure-shot formula for instant success. And few things could go wrong.

So, Lage Raho Munnabhai!

Find 6 differences between the 2 pics

This was a funny forward I received... Very very mean, but nevertheless... here you go...



I think it has more to do with the identical posing... what say you?

Vettaiyadu Vilayadu

Disclaimer: These views are based purely on the fact that Kamal Hassan just plays a hero in the movie. It does not justify why someone of his caliber had to do such a movie.

Spoilers: There are spoilers ahead.. If you haven't already seen the movie and intend doing so, don't read any further.

Ok.. So last night Vidhs n I were sitting huddled over one laptop and watching a stolen copy of VV. And the first impression was that it was gripping. The cinematography was excellent... I didn't get bored one bit.. As much as I'd seen rushes of the movie, I wasn't prepared to see how much Kamal Hassan had aged. It wasn't the bags under his eyes... It wasn't the flab on his frame.. It was everything.. His voice.. His look.. His persona had aged. And in retrospect, I can't say why he had to do such a commercial movie... Why it wasn't an offbeat Kamal movie... Something of the lines of how I couldn't understand why Aamir did Fanaa..

That apart, the screenplay was good.. The cinematography excellent and the plot gripping. It seemed like a lot of inspiration for Gautam Menon about the psychopath serial killers came from the likes of 'Scream'. Gore and blood and gruesome murders are nothing new to English cinema. However imagining a psycho genius killer in a Tamil movie hit home and actually creeped me out a little. And as I watched the movie, I couldn't help comparing it to Kakka Kakka (KK), Gautam's last. And some things were obvious.. Like his fascination for the names 'Ilamaran' and 'Maya', both of which feature in this movie also.

The romance between Kamal Hassan n Jothika left a lot to be desired. In fact, it was very abrupt and when you think about it, downright stupid. The heroine had no role in this movie.. She was a psycho herself on some level, essentially an emotional wreck from a failed marriage and the shadow of a person she must've been. The effect is that Jo comes across as lifeless and totally dispensable. It seems that her only use in the movie would've been so she could be kidnapped by the villains to blackmail the hero, an age-old ploy, a repeat from KK. It was unfortunate that it was Jo in both cases as well. Besides, killing her seems to be an ending that Gautam Menon likes. Or so I assumed... our version of the movie ended there, where Kamal picks her seemingly lifeless body from that pit and weeps. I was later told by a friend that the movie continues to one scene more where a "6 months later" is flashed and goes on to show her live n well.. This is another thing that reminds me of my KK DVD which has 2 endings as you please. One with Jo living and the other with her dead(the directorial cut n the theatrical versions respectively).

The other two women, the one who plays Rani (the KK Thoothu varuma girl) and Kamalini (kamal's first wife) have both played nice li'l cameos along with Prakashraj.

another major complaint I had with the movie was its logistics... The time intervals discussed and the monetary affairs don't corroborate with the rest of the movie.

1) As medical students from India, first, the guys would hardly have gotten a US visa

2) When Amudhu punctured Raghavan's( Kamal) lungs, he told him he had half n hour to live, after which Kamal plummets down the window into the dumpster. That means that within half n hour he was rescued, and so the airports would've been warned about the escape of two "wanted men" and with a sure shot transit between the USA and India, they were bound to be caught before they landed on Indian soil and escaped through Mumbai.

3) Two medical students had the time and money to actually go all the way from the USA to India to kill a bunch of people and come back and go back again as they pleased. How??

4) How come Anderson's working alone with no other NYPD cop involved?

And a whole bunch more.... All said n done, I felt that Kamal Hassan was in the movie only because his English accent is unmatched by anyone else in the Tamil industry. The movie was more about the plot, than about the hero. Vettaiyadu Villaiyadu.. Worth a watch by those who don't get turned off by gore and psycho killers... atleast on screen.

Viva Las Vegas

I was at Vegas for the long weekend. I could write a mini-book about it. But I am not going to. I have a million great pictures from the trip. I chose to share this one... An explosion of lights..


Maybe this will justify one of my career choices as a photographer :-)

My darling notebook

Warning: The following post is sprayed with a lot of simple computer jargon..

This blog is dedicated to My Darling Notebook

In case you're wondering which notebook of mine gets all that love, its my laptop (or lappie) as I call it! When my anna first bought me the lappie, I was in complete awe of it.. And when we were configuring it, I was asked to name my very first laptop. And impulsively, I named it "My Darling Notebook" and it has remained its name since.. And I had no idea what the repurcussions were... In time, I burst out laughing... Every time I shut down the system, it would ask me innocently, "Turn off My Darling Notebook?"

Why am I writing all this? I was trying to fulfill the dream or rather, the vision I blogged about in my previous post... thesis in a coffee shop. I am at the Starbucks galleria... About 2 hours ago, while I was downloading a PDF, the system abruptly sprang up this blue screen that said "System Error.." and before I could read any further, it shut down... I was shocked.. but figured this was My Darling Notebook's way of asking me for rest. And who was I to deny it... I gave it rest.. for 2 whole hours... Snuggled in a comfy sofa upstairs in Starbucks, armed with a coffee I didnt wanna drink (but an essential part of the vision), with my notes, papers, headphones, etc., I start up My Darling Notebook.

He starts up innocently enough and it takes me a few minutes to realize that something's terribly wrong.. He's at the "Windows is starting up screen" for full 5 minutes before asking me for my password and for a full 7 minutes after that.. NOTHING.. I am in primary shock now... And instead of giving him time to start up, I do what most panicked people do, hit all sorts of icons, the Start Menu and anything else I can think of. He doesn't take this well and he's hung for another 10 minutes, giving me the blasted hourglass - his processing signal... All this sounds like less time.. Please sit next to your comp willing it to start and watch how the time crawls - you'll know then. When I hit Ctrl+Alt+Del next is when my secondary shock comes.. the screen doesnt appear for like, 7 minutes! I am the poor soul who doesn't know she's supposed to have tertiary and other whatever-ary shocks to follow. I decide I will give My Darling Notebook more time and go to use the restroom. Tertiary shock is when I am back and STILL the Task Manager hasn't come up. Out of sheer panic, I keep the power button pressed for a few seconds, a forced hibernation for My Darling Notebook. By now I am sure, one of my RAM chips has crashed.

I start Him up in Safe Mode and it takes 4 minutes in safe mode to get the Control Panel up. I right click on My Computer and try to get the damned properties to check the RAM. After 2 whole minutes, 704MB, He proudly announces (which is what its supposed to be). Thats when the first tears of anger spring up... My whole research is royally screwed if My Darling Notebook decides he's had enough of his memorable existance. I am now talking to him and coaxing him to spring up with life... He doesn't listen for 10 minutes more.. And I have Him started in normal mode now. I decide not to hit any buttons hastily but to give Him "waking-up" time. Meanwhile, while I can, I get AdAware working... better to untrash Him when I can... In time, His performance improves and slowly but surely My Darling Notebook is making a recovery...

Lets hope He lives a long and fulfilling life... Three Cheers to Him!!

PS: I had my Wallpaper as the Cincinnati Downtown nightshot. I swapped it for a few trashy moments to a 'Pirates of the Carribbean' one, to fulfill my obsession with the series and the "crash" happened soon after. One of the first things I did in 'Safe Mode' was to restore it back to the Cinti one... Supersition does work sometimes, huh?

Of hot coffee and brewing thesis...

I've always had this vision... Of me sitting in this quaint little coffee shop (but with Wi-Fi ofcourse!) with just the right setting, not too many seats, not too crowded. I see myself sitting in this unseen corner of the coffee shop, adjacent to a window, opening out into the world. On my table, is this steaming cup of coffee and my laptop, open with everything I need for the thesis writing - the PDFs, the diagrams, the Word Documents, the Emails.. the works... This is how I have envisioned writing my thesis...

Now for the moment of truth.. I don't like coffee!!! Coming from a Tamil girl, currently in the US, I bet many eyebrows will be raised. The only coffee I willingly order is cold coffee (believe it, its the smell, sometimes and bitterness mostly that I dislike!) and cold coffee thankfully eliminates both the factors! Alright, time to appease the offended.. These days I do have a lot of coffee and I feel bad having missed out on the "filter-kaapi" back home. I mean if I can live after drinking all this strong n bitter trash, back home's Narasus, Bru n leo wouldve been divine, I guess... So, my vision still has all the coffee and the thesis. I donno if the coffee is going to be refilled.. I sure as hell know my brain has to be...

No, I am not done with all of the work for my Masters, but I am going to write my thesis, just the way I want to. I am going to haunt the Starbucks gallery, Ben n Jerrys, even PotBelly on Calhoun and maybe I will go as far as Sitwell on Ludlow, in search and expectation of fullfilling my vision and seeing if living it feels as good as imagining it.. Wish me luck! :-)

Template Changes

Just experimenting with a new template... Comments anyone?

If...............

In my opinion, nothing describes the scope of the word "If" better than Rudyard Kipling's rendering of it. If you haven't already read it, now's the time. Click here.

If dreams could be instant reality, what would you dream about? They say be careful what you ask for... It might just come true :-)

As I browsed through the channels on TV last night, I caught one of the million "medico" shows aired on them and it made me lament on how I had wanted to become a doctor (The sight of internal organs in public view revolts me.. I wouldnt have lasted a day... But there's nothing wrong in wanting to be a doctor!) And soon me n my roomie went on to a fantastical ranting of what we would be in an ideal world where you got the opportunity you wanted... Here's my Top 5 and I'd love to hear all yours too.. So, when you comment, you'd better include your Top 5...

Number 1: Globe Trotter - World Traveler - Travel show hostess

This is one of my dreams and I have promised myself that I will make it a reality. Life's short and its okay for me to be globe-trotting with the love of my life, maybe backpacking on the hills of Andulasia or go on a wild animal safari in South Africa or just use conventional travel to see places, for about a year... Even as a child I saw this travel show hosted by Nikhil Ahuja on Discovery Channel and it seemed like one of the most fascinating things to do. He gave way to Dipti Bhatnagar on some other channel and it seemed like the most "romanchak" thing to be doing, going places, sampling cuisines and saying "Mmm... Absolutely lip-smackingly delicious!" (Okay, I don't eat non-veg.. But my viewers needn't know that!)
The perks: Never boring, new places, easy money, free travel, good luxury... What else could anyone want?
The cons: Keeping the public interested... all's well when you are going to Paris, Italy, Rome, etc. What happens when you have to go to say, Spitzbergen?

Number 2: War correspondent - International Journalist

No, I don't want to be a newsreader at the desk.. I want to be the one they say, "Lets go over to Jaya at the site of the deadlock between Iraq and Kuwait.. So, Jaya.. how does it look out there?"
And no... I am not someone rallying for wars out there so I can be a correspondent. I just want to be in the thick of the action and not in the protected newsroom. I want to be able to reach to the people and get the feel of the real world. I got a little bit of it even as I started a small charity thingie back in Chennai. But my dreams encompass something larger. And by international correspondent, I could be this major undercover reporter for NDTV or BBC or something. With a gazillion news channels springing up, this dream job of mine is up for the grabs.
The perks: All of that excitement and you can never go out of a job
The cons: If you're reporting on a conspirational issue, you can be certain to be hunted down (not literally)

Number 3: Actress - Drama artiste

Everytime I see pathetic movies, I am reminded of what a brilliant actress I am.. And no, there's no lack of modesty here... Yes, I am one of the worst liars you can see... And people who know me will tell you that my face can almost precisely express everything that my lips might need to say.. Consequently when I lie, my face and lips tell different stories. But that apart, I am up there on the acting scale.. I can produce tears if I tried a li'l bit and I have done everything from dramatically pretend my hand was fractured as a "April Fool's Day" joke to mime wheezing when I didnt wanna stay in class... And more than commercial cinema, I envision myself in off-beat plays and live performances than in front of the camera...
The perks: Applause.. applause.. applause!!
The cons: Being branded as a particular variety by people who have no guts to try it themselves

Number 4: Nature Photographer

This might be one of those things I sure as hell will give a try eventually. I am camera-crazy... But mostly prefer being behind the lens than in front of it. And abstract pictures, "on-the-spur" pictures are those that delight me most. I don't believe in making people "pose" for photographs... The more natural, the better... For people who think they need to look awesome in pictures, I have no patience. My photographs fulfill my needs for memories of the moment.. not something someone later looks at and says "Wow you guys are standing so symmetrically!". Thats why I would probably be better off shooting for the "Natural Geographic" or something. You can't make animals and plants pose! They are off-beat and natural and priceless! Or other pictures I'd like to shoot are those vintage scenes which make your heart bleed, like those pictures of an old bent woman, picking tea in one of the plantations in Nepal, so she can feed her hapless 3 year old. Touche!
The perks: The camera allllllllllll the way!
The cons: Nothing I can think of... Well, maybe you like 1 out of 25 pictures you shoot... With the evolution of the digital age, that hardly counts.

Number 5: Author-Writer-Story Teller

Writing is one of my passions that has outlasted many others through the years. I wrote my first "story" when I was a 8 year old in bed with Chicken Pox and each thing has given way to another and I wrote books and stuff... With my other career options outlasting this one, I haven't gotten to "publishing" any of my work.. But this is soo close to reality, I can almost taste it.
The perks: Time flies as your fingers fly over the keyboard too!
The cons: Writer's block.. sometimes you just don't know what to write...

So, what if... well, this is the time you'd think what you'd want to do with your life in a parallel world and put it down on my blog comments... Keep the imagination wild!

Bar-red!

Disclaimer: This post is in jest... You Mo-Towners, I loved every moment of it (well, almost!) and don't mean to hurt you.. This is just a girl's perspecive of an evening at a bar...

Bar-ring(v): The act of sitting at a bar with a huge group of friends and drinking the night away

OK, so last week was a friend's graduation party which I'd happened to grace... I would guess its customary to visit a bar once the ceremony is over... to celebrate, to get drunk, to get high and to make complete fools of yourselves... What better opportunity and what better ambience than a sports bar, called "Gibbies" where we'd informed the waiters n waitresses that this was an important day for some few (4 out of 30!) and we were going to bring the roof down and that they couldn't object to it.

I am not a habitual(or even an occassional) drinker(?!?) So, when the first round of drinks were being ordered, I politely declined the alcoholic stuff and stuck to a coke. Beer was the choice of the night as pitcher after pitcher arrived and I slowly, but steadily I witnessed the transformation of men into pigs! And soon, as the quality of the drink improved (increased), the quantity decreased and the intoxication increased... With every drink after the initial 4, their speech started slurring, their movements jarring, topics deteriorating, repetitions aplenty(!), vocal talents exposed (read singing after drinking!!) and what not!

Having read about this scenario in countless books and seen representations in movies, I thought I was prepared to watch this out. I was I guess... But what I wasnt prepared for, was what the practical implications of being present there... My drink became a refill of the coke and then a "Sex on the beach", a simple cocktail, with the alcoholic powers of vodka.. It was a rather interesting drink. I sipped a couple of times and thats all I could take. I mean, drinking for me has its limitations... No more than 2 sips at a time! Which would explain why I ever havent gotten "high". Next up, someone got some vanilla-rum-coke combo which tasted very interesting too... For 2 sips once more... And last but not the least, whiskey - Jack Daniels with coke... For allll that people had raved about whiskey I had to try it out... Even in their drunken state, the boys seemed to realize that it was maybe a bit too much of a drink for an amateur and so watched carefully as I tipped the glass into my mouth and took one sour sip (I must emphasize I hated it.. It was bitter and disgusting and no matter what "high" it gave people, one sip was too many for me). The boys' concerned expression turned into hurt as my face turned into disgust! That was enough alcohol for me and I demanded pineapple juice. The bar for all its fame couldn't gimme a decent pineapple drink. It was thick and gooey and more concentrated than what natural pineapples can ever produce. Nevertheless, a welcome change from the alcohol!

Apart from that, I spent the night fighting (verbally), flirting (generally) and scolding (those who couldn't take their ears off my conversations with others!) I discovered many kinds of people, made a lot of friends (though I bet some were soo drunk they wouldnt recognize me the next day if I walked past them!) As I waded out to take a phone call and back in, I had an American dude ask me "Can I buy you a drink?" Having seen Joey do this in F-R-I-E-N-D-S, I almost burst out laughing but somehow managed to mumble straight-faced that I was "with friends" n get away! Another practical reality- I won't go into the gross details: Don't drink too much... You'll wanna pee.. and the restrooms in bars are not functional, let alone clean!

All said n done, if you haven't done it at all, I would suggest you should go barring with a bunch of friends.. Its fun... (to do it once in a while). I wonder how the boys do it on a weekly basis... But I guess boys will be boys and maybe a li'l bit of alcohol in their system in the weekend evoked the required guilt to multiply efforts through it to do some productive work.. I'll never know... But maybe its best left unruffled. :-)

Its definitely "Goodbye" to KANK

Disclaimer - Views about the movie are strictly mine and I if you don't agree with them, you and I should probably never meet again!

Scene: An optimistic gang of 9 @ Northway Theatres, Pittsburgh
Time: 6:05pm - almost just in time for the show
Movie: Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna - Karan Johar's latest

Ofcourse I had decided to keep my expectations @ rock bottom.. Another SRK-Karan Johar flick.. overreaction was expected aplenty and I wasn't disappointed from Scene 1. SRK as a soccer player wouldn't sell even in ethereal world... And with Jersey No. 7 and a tattoo screaming 'Victory', a certain ex-Man-U and current Real Madrid star would probably commit suicide if he saw who was impersonating him! (Well if that was too cryptic for all of you.. Its Becky darling) Whoosh! And then comes another unbelievable scene... Rani Mukerji in full bridal attire sitting unaccompanied on a remote garden bench while her wedding vows need to be taken in like 5 seconds. And who should come by her, but the soccer star SRK! And though he's married and she almost is, there's a lot of chemistry between them and guess who gives her the boost to overcome her doubts about her darling husband-to-be, Abhishek, but a total stranger - SRK?

Then comes an accident and soccer superstar becomes a bitter brooding wretch who is too much of a man to be able to take his wife's success in his stride. The typical inferiority complex sets in. Atleast ere theres some reason for discomfort. The other pair is unbelievable... A doting, dashing, darling hubby in Abhishek, admittedly a little childish, endearingly so, adores his wifee, Rani and she is a mass of stone... Untouched by his affections, saddened by her good fate and uninvolved in her marital life. (Doesnt make any sense!) And so, the two bitter souls through quirks of fate are thrown together and as they work at fixing their own marriages, they end up setting themselves up. How that is "love" is once again beyond me.. And guilt brings in treats for the respective spouses who are naive enough to believe that the bad patch in their marriage is finally over and that everything is all good and fun. While Preity and Abhishek are out celebrating the success of their marriage (without their spouses - WHY would they do that?), this unlikely bitter couple in love sleep together.

Woven through all this is an ungainly role for Amitabh - a womanizing Papa.. Who celebrates his late wife by being with every 20-something he can set his eyes on... And only because its Amitabh, you can probably take it without flinching. Aby baby is Abhi's dad and Kiron "the gorgeous" Kher is SRK's mom and their flirting is unbearable. This couple chances upon Rani n SRK cootchie-cooing. And that signals the end of the stupid affair when they decide to come clean with their spouses. Neither Preity nor Abhishek can take it. While Preity implodes, Abhishek explodes and they both get rid of their spouses. Rani and SRK dont admit that they are now free to see each other and instead live a life of misery for 3 years assuming that the other is happy. BS!!! I wont go into the details.. but then they do get together in the end (And dont feel sad for Preity or Abhishek.. they've moved on too.. with different people).

A long, and painstaking account and I had to relive the torture! The first half hour is quite funny with good comic timing... the rest of it is a total pain in the ass and completely unbelievable. The movie is based on an english counterpart, "Closer" starring Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts and Clive Owen. Though I havent seen it, ofcourse I can vouch for the fact that it will probably be a trillion times better. SRK has overreacted beyond imagination and the way he cries makes you want to pull you arm out of your sleeve and play with it so you have something to do! (Courtesy: Joey in F-R-I-E-N-D-S on Janice's laughter!) Except for Mitwaa, even Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy failed to impress... The songs have an uncanny resemblence to te 'Kal Ho Na Ho' numbers which were better by far...

All in all.. even if someone paid you, its not worth the watch... BEWARE!

Copy Cat!

This is from here. And I have happily copied the template and used it coz I havent blogged in ages!!!!!!! So, here goes...

I am thinking about...
How my thesis and currently my whole existance is the whim and fantasy of a lousy cleanroom equipment.. Makes me realise how I have always hated electrical equipment (Yes, I am an "Electrical Engineer", but here there's no such thing as an "electronic" engineer... Grrrrrrrrr...

I said…
Nothing. I haven't spoken in the past 3 hours.. Believe it! I am in ECSS from 7:00am.. no one interesting around!

I want to…
Finish my research soon, get a job and then take a trip to Paris.

I wish...
Life was as it is in Hogwarts - Magical.. That way one could accomplish a gazillion number of things with unbelievable efficiency.. Best let me not get started.

I hear...
That UC is finally almost done with all the construction! Whoopee!

I wonder...
How I can do nothing all day without losing patience while waiting for the damn machine!

I regret...
Nothing. Whats done is done... I hardly ever do anything so phenomenally wrong to regret it! hehe...

I am...
One of a kind. Don't judge me before you know me. And once you know me, there's no one like me.

I dance...
With energy! (And am conscious in the beginning!)

I sing...
All the time... In the bathroom, while writing my thesis... whenever.. wherever...

I am not always...
Talking! Yeah.. unbelievable but very very true

Food...
Is the center of my existance... In India, I was a forced eater (amma n patti used to force me with food at the right times). Here, I appreciate it much much more... And all the time I can readily fathom what i am going to have for my next meal! And now its 10:15 am and I've been up since 5:55am.. That makes me.. TERRIBLY HUNGRY!

I write...
Because it has always remained one of my passions. Those close to me will tell you about my articles with magazines, my various, "fiction"-writing stints, books and what not..

My passion...
Music... It just transports me to an ethereal world... But I am captivated by many passions... Reading is another which I would never trade for... Chai.. probably the blood in my veins :)

I confuse...
Chicken and Kitchen! Isnt that unbelievable? I was booking a cabin for us friends to stay in Gatlinburg. And I actually paused while asking "Do you have a fully equipped kitchen?" Because what came in my mouth all along was "fully equipped chicken"!

I need...
to get my head in the right order... to utilize time and stick with schedules and accomplish everything I have ever wanted... Its that easy!

For you other copy-cats... what're you waiting for? Just copy! :-)

Did everything have to go electronic???

It was just one of those days which reminded me that life back in the late 80's was maybe a teeny-weeny bit better than it is now, in solely one respect.. and I expect you will be taken aback by what I will say here -- Lack of technology... Don't mistake me.. Its completely wonderful that the world has shrunk infinitesimally and that everything is now on the Internet blah-blah-blah.. And if u r wondering why I reached such a ridiculous conclusion, its quite simple... I was reading an ebook!! Hehehe..

I was reading 'Memoirs of a geisha' on my computer in a sitting position, using just a finger on 'Page Down' to race through the pages and yes, in 2 days at my jobplace I was done.. But what did I miss here? Curling up with an actual book! Nothing beats the feeling I get when I am propped on my stomach with a book in one hand, coffee/tea-cookies on the reach of the other and flipping pages rapidly, tuned out from the world, earning all sorts of curses from anyone trying to grab my attention without physically yanking me.. Its sooo amazing... And the pages themselves have this smell which I am addicted to.. It could be the fresh smell of glue from a new book or the faded, thumbed smell of an old one... Books are my passion and sometimes I feel I am violating them by having an ebook collection as such... You may tell me that I could have my tea/coffee with my laptop too... And yeah, but we all know the feeling isnt the same... We all know I couldnt be huddled in some corner of the couch with a laptop.. That I couldnt walk with my book or find a patch of grass and settle down there on my back, the book shielding me from the sun - well, you get the picture!

And then a few days ago, I see this device which is probably already in the market or definitely getting there, which is actually called ebook reader or something and looks like this. Get more information on this here.

I mean what is that?? Why would anyone violate a sacred book?? I am sure it has a million advantages -- storing million books in one exam-pad sized thing... And yet physically simulating the book... blah blah.. But being a TOTAL bookworm (not in the nerd sense), I cannot accept this much of an unnecessary (or so I think) advancement in technology... I am paranoid about all the books I own.. When I lend a book to someone I am very particular that I get them back in the same state and I hate people who fold the pages to mark their pages... HELLO.. Ever heard of bookmarks? I mean fold your book pages.. Not mine!

In resignation, I guess this is the future... There are already books which dont publish in a paper version at all.. And ebooks are cheaper (many many are free) and convenient, etc. Maybe I am just old-fashioned and someday I maybe able to make my bias not exist anymore... For now, its all about my paperbacks (and hardcovers sometimes!)

If only we could apparate.......

Apparate: A spell used by witches and wizards to travel from one place to another instantaneously. This is the term used when the witch or wizard appears. -- Courtesy, Harry Potter glossary

Saturday morning... post brunch... sticky summer... 20min walk to the bus stop... You know how it is... You just wish you could be transported to the spot of desire in the blink of an eye. Thats when I thought of apparation. How it would be if we could apparate from one place to the other. Instantly. My roomie and I were walking to the bus stop and she being almost as Harry Potter frenzied as I, I mentioned this to her. And within seconds.....

These were some of the initial consequences I could think of...
1) Ofcourse all sorts of transportation would be decommisioned - Bus/train/road/air travel wasnt ever required once you could just wish to be someplace and find yourself in it!
2) The economy of the world would crash - Think of it.. It would be enough for any one family to have a single house in one place. Example - If you had a house in India... why would you pay rent here in the US? You could simply apparate from the university to your very own home for tea/a nap/dinner/TV and what not? This is just one of the simple consequences. Think of everything you do/buy on a daily basis and you'll realize the magnitude of things that will get affected.
3) Accidents!! - There would millions of apparation accidents that have to occur with people vanishing all over the place. If the concentration levels aren't so great, it would result in splinching! (Splinching: Injury caused by careless apparation where the wizard/witch leaves behind body parts and are not transported in whole to the destination of choice) With this, we can be rest-assured to find eyes/ears and what not in all sorts of places!
4) Ministry of Magic - It would be ludicrous to suggest that one could apparate without a governing body. Ofcourse a ministry would evolve to help set things right, if not to regulate things from going wrong!

Ok ok... I am sure most of this just flew right over some people's heads.. But those were just the practical consequences I thought of.. Imaginatively there could be a lot lot more! It then occurred to me that with the possibility of apparation, it wasn't right to want to apparate from anywhere-everywhere! So, I thought up some basic guidelines that apparation would have to comply with...
1) Age restriction - Apparation strictly allowed only at the age of 16 - we don't need kids splinching all over the place!
2) Minimum and Maximum distances - Ofcourse this is essential. Think about it... If there were no restrictions, given the lazy bums that people are, they would apparate from the bottom of the stairs to the top! There has to be a minimum of 250 miles distance (~4hr driving distance) and a maximum of say, 3000 miles (I'm guessing india will be in this range.. hehe) from place to place. For everything else, use the fully developed transportation system! Lets not crash the economy more than we should!!
3) Apparation contracts - It would be illogical to suggest that once you reach one place, Rule 2 still applies and you could simply add on the distances by multiple appearances. Thats not only unfair, but stupid as well. Like we have wireless provider contracts (T-Mobile, Verizon, blah blah), there should be apparation contractors with different schemes. Ideally, a person should sign a year's contract for a stupendous amount of money (which would include a training in apparation, and a choice of 5 destinations they would want to apparate from 1 central location they choose)
Example: For me, Central Location(current): Cincinnati, OH
Five Destinations: (1) Chennai, India (Duh!)
(2) New York, NY
(3) Paris, France
(4) Egypt
(5) Australia
Everything else, I can pay n travel!
3) Contract renewal - Every contract needs to be renewed... once again at a stupendous fee.. but you get to choose a different central location and a 5 different destinations (if you want to!)

I could go on and this really set my imagination on fire! So I request whoever reads this to come up with their central location and their 5 destinations... will make interesting revelations about yourself, if I daresay!

Back-to-imagination-mode..
Jaya

'Arranged Marriage' goes hi-fi!

Note: The following is written in light vein. I have nothing against the process of arranged marriage. This is just a personal view of the modern transformation of the traditional arranged marriage.

I don't think your parents like it too much if you are single and happy and importantly, a girl at 24 . I mean, they do the best they can to pretend they are really ok with the situation and that they will give you "all the time in the world that you require" to deal with it... But in reality, they aren't ok and at best, "all the time in the world" is about 2 months before the topic is broached again.

I have had my share of 'putting it away', of making thesis the biggest burden that humanity saw, of claiming 'I dont have the time for all this 'nonsense''. I held on to this for quite sometime. My parents were really better off than many others I know. But they weren't really different. I dont know about the other communities, but if you TamBrahm, you are likely to know that 'The Hindu' Matrimony and tamilmatrimony are your sworn enemies with huge listings of all the eligible people in the required caste. Having done the procedure through and through for a close relative, I am very familiar with the 'chevvai doshams', and what nakshatram wont go with what and all other stuff, which I dont know why, people believe in. I guess its just a filter, an excuse to use, a weapon importantly. Instead of blatantly saying that your daughter didnt like their son's looks, you'd rather polishedly say -"Oh, with our astrologer, the horoscopes didnt match". That beats all reason. How.. how can 2 horoscopes produce different results with different astrologers? Where then is the credibility for the process??? Given a choice, I'd avert all this for sure! I mean, PLEASE!

Then comes the unavoidable close relative circle, the people you really like, your mamas-mamis, athais-athimbers, chithis-chitappas (ok u get the picture!) They're all oh-so-great, till you're a girl at 24 and unmarried! Then all you get is - "Eppo settle aaga pore?" - *(@$)&$)@*$_)@*_
If only we knew! Then back to your parents who get after you to create a 'profile' in tammatrimony... For the life of me, I am doing no such thing... This at the moment is a state-of-denial almost. But thats where it will be..

The whole process is just that - a process.. with so much propriety involved... 2 families involved - all their hopes on your 'alliance'. The steps in the process -
1) Email
2) Phone call
3) Webcam chat
4) Meet the boy/girl
5) One day later -- 'Enaku indha payyan/ponnu ok' - (*&^%^&$&_{(*_{)(&(@&

HOW?????????? Most people I know answer that question by the usual - "When your time comes, you will know". Thats sooo not helpful at all. I swear now, that when my 'time' comes and I 'know', I will publicize it to help the helpless like me! Lol!

30 Things I wouldnt trade for...ordered randomly.. EDITED!

1) My family n friends (am sure everyone thinks the same)
2) My picture collection (its huuuuuuuuuuge!!)
3) The smell of mud after the rain (one of the best smells ever!)
4) My dreams (free entertainment every night)
5) My soft toys
6) Chocolate (to die for!)
7) My pink cellphone (nokia 3100 - old now, still girly.. love it!)
8) My mom's sari that I sleep with
9) My dream car
10) My travel exploits (ones that I've done and once I'd die to do)
11) F-R-I-E-N-D-S
12) My Canon
13) Yapping...
14) AR.Rahman's music
15) Tea (Can hardly live without it)
16) Sleeeeeep
17) Shopping
18) Gmail
19) Watches ( I swear by time.. I'll be damned if I have ever been late to ANY place)
20) Cheap poetry (basic stuff kids write when they're like 10.... The basic rhymes!)
21) A walk in the rain
22) ICECREAM!
23) Shoes
24) Carnatic music
25) Water with ice
26) The ringtone that tells me who's calling
27) Mangoes'n'apples
28) A long drive (by myself - no sweethearts allowed!)
29) Yahoo! Messenger
30) Gossip!!

Ek lambisi love story :)

Fact: Everything I say here is true

Act 1 -- 645 Baldwin Hall, University of Cincinnati

I stared resolutely ahead willing myself to concentrate on what Dr.R was saying, forcing myself not to sneak a peek to my right. I could feel his gaze burn on my cheek. Against my better judgement I peered at him. There they were, his beautiful auburn eyes fixed on my face and an amused smile gracing his lips. I groaned inwardly. It had happened again. The last time it'd happened I'd promised myself to be more careful. Now all those oh-so-nothing smiles and inconsequential 'hi's' had been misinterpreted once again as a window to try and have a fling with me, if nothing less. I had to put an end to this.

His name was some Jaime 'Unpronounceable' and was from Spain. He was my classmate in the BioMEMS class and all through the quarter, we'd hardly exchanged more words than a 'Hi..' or 'How was your holiday?' But me being me, midway through the quarter I'd helped him with some homework and because he seemed shy, I'd coaxed him into a few conversations. He spoke very nice English and was one of those intellectual European men you kept hearing about, but seldom saw. And now, my normality had once again been misinrepreted. The guy probably thought I had a crush on him!

Well, I had to salvage whatever little pride I had! And right through class I mentally rehearsed what had to be told..."We'll pick up from here on Thursday." Dr R's voice interrupted my thoughts, signalling the end of class. The class started bustling with people waking up and strolling towards the door. As I thought he would, he lingered around and I waved Ashwin to leave too as I hung back too. In less than a minute, we were the only two left behind.
"Hi..." I began tentatively. He beamed at me.
"Finally, I have solved the puzzle." He said.
"Huh?"
"You look like the girl my Indian friend has a portrait of." He declared.
My rehearsed speech flew out of the window. This was the last thing I ever expected and words failed me.
"Your friend drew it or has it?" I asked as if the answer made any difference.
"I don't know... He was my roommate back in Madrid in my undergraduate study."
Unintentionally, my heart started racing.
"Where's he now? Are you in touch with him?"
"He's in San Francisco, I think.."

Act 2 -- Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco

The wind was chilly.. I pulled my jacket snugger around myself. My hair was going haywire. But I was supposed to meet Mr.X who made my portrait here. Jamie 'Unpronounceable' had been tardy with the details. He thought it would be romantic to set me up with the guy... And he just asked me to wait at the 5th girder of the golden gate bridge on this day. As I waited in hardly controllable excitement, a young, tall, langly black kid walked up to me and
"Are you Shaya?" I assumed that was the way he said Jaya.
"Yes?"
"Some dude asked me to give you this note.."

The note was vague -- TAKE THE ALCATRAZ CRUISE

What the hell? Here I was, all the way over to the west coast from where I lived, just to unravel this stupid mystery which was prolonging forever. I supposed the guy would meet me on the boat... Wrong again. I did the cruise by myself. As we rounded the Alcatraz, I was lost as to what was happening. The boat ride itself was a pleasure, the wind blowing us away almost... To top it all, they had these gypsies with caged parrots... I ambled over to the parrots which were talking happily (sounds that made no sense to them... words that did make sense to us!) One was a particularly beautiful and reminded of my own 'Pintu' who could say 'Pappi' (my nic). This one started screeching as I went near it... I backed up a little... But in crystal clear words, it looked me right in the eye and said "Go to MarieMont". And he repeated it like a mantra... It was unbelievable. The gypsy woman who trained the parrots looked at me in wonder.
"He's never said anything I havent taught him"
I was left speechless. What could this mean?? MarieMont was this beautiful locality back in Cincinnati... And this had to be a huge practical joke... Having lured me from one coast to the other, this stupid parrot was sending me back! With no sign of Mr.X, I had to go back anyways! Men Suck!

Act 3 -- MarieMont, Cincinnati

The place was just as I had remembered it. I knew of it from my busride to Milford. Its a quaint little town, content in itself... a tiny mall, a high school, a church, gardens, a fountain.. just perfect. I wandered aimlessly. The leaves rustled.. I found myself walking towards the beautiful fountain that formed the fountain square of MarieMont... It has a statue of this man and woman, of Greek times I assume, entwined amongst vines and frozen in a dance step... It was highly romantic... I groaned inwardly and closed my eyes... After everything, the guy was going to turn out to be a loser... If there weren't more steps in the 'guy-hunt'. I mean which sane guy had the time to plan such a rendezvous? And I didnt even know if I was right on track.. What if I'd misinterpreted the parrot as a clue? Surely, that was unplanned? I was a little more wary now... This was all sooo wrong...

Then I don't know why, I felt I had to look up... And I did... There he was, at a distance, walking from the far edge of the garden, towards fountain square...I stood up... This was it... And as if to make the moment significant, the church bells started chiming... They chimed n chimed... And wait a second.. was there something wrong?

Act 4 -- Riddle Road, Cincinnati

8.26 am... Tuesday Morning

Fanaa

Another movie review... Again unwarranted... This time, I must impress on all you folks that untill I saw the movie, the only thing I knew about it was its starcast! So, all the opinions formed are mine... And if I have anyone to blame for expecting too much, its my bro... who gave me high hopes by saying that Kajol looked stunning and it was her best performance to date... That Aamir was his usual self... That though the movie was slow, it was good. So, here goes..

The movie began at the pace that normal life goes... They could probably represent 24 hours as 24 hours which goes to say, yes, it was slow! And Kajol did look gorgeous and Aamir looked drunk (I mean we all know he's no longer the chocolate boy we drooled over) but the bags beneath his eyes suggested he'd aged 10 years in a day... (Aamir fans like me can relax - he looks better as the movie progresses)

The one major underlying thing I never understood was the romance between the two. They are both Kashmiri Muslims... And she's blind.. And her parents (rishi kapoor and Kiron Kher) are more liberal than the most modern of Indian parents (I mean which parent tells a blind daughter she better go to Delhi to find her Shehzada??) And well, the love itself.. How did it happen? He seems like a street tapori at start and the 'shayars' after a stage are unbearable and have the audience around ranting some of their own (believe me that makes it even more difficult on what seems to be a boring movie!) And in no time, they've hooked up... Three dates later, they've slept together! (India must be bleeding tears for its culture) And as in all movies - One time is once too many... Ofcourse she gets pregnant! Everytime there's a hint of a romance, you can hear ARR crooning 'SubhanAllah' in the backdrop and after a stage, we started singing 'SubhanAllah' when we thought it was romantic... Cruelly, it never featured onscreen!

Then comes the transformation... The Tapori becomes a Terrorist.. He stages his death to his blind girlfiend (who he thankfully gets operated for her blindness and eventually cured -- This makes you wonder if the affluent parents had adopted her, having not thought of surgery for their daugther themselves) And the long-locks Aamir (going by the character name Rehan - u hear soo much of it) gives way to a crewcut terrorist in Indian army uniform. The mission ofcourse has been tried and tested - a series of bombs that can explode lakhs of people, that can be triggered by 12 identical 'triggers'. Our hero (well, villain if you insist) is on the snow, dodging the many snipers and copters chasing one man. Ofcourse these actual 'army' men have been put to task by Tabu. What prompted her to take such a lame role is beyond my imagination. She's the officer-in-charge of the operation to chase down Rehan. If Rehan was for real, he'd make India proud at the Olympics with his sureshot.. with a single pistol and a single shot, he can gun down copters.. while the poor Indian army, equipped with machine guns just about manages to wound him slightly.

As Fate would have it, the wounded 'hero' in the snow blizzard seeks solace at a solitary wooden mansion amidst the snow... And who must open the door... SubhanAllah!

His now-seeing gf obviously doesnt recognize him (she must've gotten her ears operated as well coz she cant recognize his voice either!) Their kid, now 5, is also called Rehan.. He's a cutie most of the time but can get on your nerves some other... Progressing with the crawling story, finally Aamir confesses that he is Rehan and to cut a long story short, they get married. Shortly after, a news item on NDTV speaks of our terrorist and slaps the 'trigger' in possession with him as an identity. And guess who must come across the trigger in Rehan's jacket pocket (thats such an innovative place to hide such an important thing) but Rishi daddy! He conceals his knowledge just enough to drive Rehan to a fellow officer's house before confronting him. In a 2 minute sequence, before you can follow whats happening, Rishi falls off the cliff by accident! But this is what clinches it... By the time Aamir informs his fellow terrorists he is safe and so is the trigger and is back downhill home, Rishi's body travels in a glacier of ice and finds itself lodged right in his backyard where his daughter (Kajol) sees everything and pieces the story together!!! AMAZING!

The climax ofcourse is dramatic... Kajol tries to flee with her son from her terrorist hubby... And cutting a huge sequence down, begs him to surrender. When he refuses and walks towards his granddad (bada terrorist) to hand over the 'trigger', Kajol begs him once more and resolutely guns him down....

Phew!

Final verdict: 4/10 The story was soo confused... At times, they tried to make it an undying love story and at others, some patriotism-spangled affair... The end product is a confused mess, giving importance to neither... This is Kajol's comeback movie... She's not lost her touch and this performance will work for her... Why Aamir did this movie is questionable.. I guess SRK couldnt be a terrorist if he wanted to.. Tabu - what a waste of talent... Case rested.

Da Vinci Code -- decoded!

Disclaimer: Unknowingly there maybe some spoilers here.. If you have read the book or seen the movie, don't bother... If not, you can wait to read this one!

Ok.. here I am at last obliging the many requests to write a review about the most-anticipated movie of the year... Finally it was opening night on Friday and I was about to see the movie I'd waited for about an year.. I've never quite seen AMC this overflowing... we were a bunch of 8 and we couldnt find any seating together, however close to the screen.. And so we split up and sat where we could... Having heard the critics review at Cannes, I'd dipped my expectations of the movie to a rock-bottom and now all I wanted to do was enjoy the adaptation...

It began... At the outset, in the first 15 minutes of the movie, I can probably point out some 30 things that deviated from the book.. not trivial.. not major... but to the book's fan, a definite minus point, especially because one couldnt explain why Langdon would be a suspect to Fache if he was interrupted by Collet at the lecture around the time of the murder! Didn't make sense! Putting that behind you would be a smart idea and let you enjoy the rest of the movie..

For most part in the first half, things move real fast and as someone who'd read the book more than once, I didnt understand how people who hadnt read it would warm up to the pace in the movie... But I had more things to think about.. Tom Hanks is an awesome star, but looked a little bit too old even for Langdon's character who is about 40... And Audrey was a near-perfect fit for Sophie, who's also French... And it all gelled, except that as my roommate put it, the two stars were a bit too 'deadpan' in their expressions... But then, its no secret that both the book and the movie are all about the plot that unfolds and performances could be compromised for the events that were unravelling...

After Teabing (Ian McKellen - Gandalf in LOTR) came onscreen, no one else stood a chance.. The casting was sooo perfect and he was brilliant and totally stole the show.. It was captivating and the sequence that I got a little bored in the book (the Grail explanation to Sophie by Robert n Teabing) was shown far more interesting in the movie.. And the screenplay was good in particular... The way they decoded the 'Last Supper', the way they enlightened the blade n chalice.. And in general, the way the movie flashbacks abruptly in a newspaper print fashion was particularly brilliant...

The movie gained pace and before you knew it, they had the cryptex (which is pleasingly exactly what one would have imagined it to be -- no disappointments here). But they did eat away the dual cryptex concept and simplistically stuck to just one (The SOFIA thingie was ignored). As the plot thickened, what amazed me the most was the exact locations that the movie was shot at... Here credit is due to Dan Brown himself for having made lucid descriptions of all those churches and otherwise as they unfolded in 'flesh n blood' in the movie and were exactly as I had imagined... They were breathtaking...

Another amazing facet of the movie was the 'makeup'. Silas' bloodied back and punctured thigh (from the cilice) couldnt have been more perfect if he'd really punctured it! Bloody, yet brilliant! And the sudden attacks that he made was terriffic shock elements that startled almost everyone... You knew it was coming.. yet not the way it did! At this juncture I must mention that some facts felt twisted --
1) The connection between Fache n Aringarosa was revealed too early
2) Aringarosa was shown a bad guy
3) They overstretched the well-shaft incident for Langdon bringing in some Christ belief, etc...

After the 'APPLE' cryptex got open, someone like me would remember the book ending in a few chapters and 20 pages at the most. The movie however dragged one full half hour after that... I couldnt take it at that point.. It felt like it went on forever... There were some unnecessary scenes of Langdon enlightening Sophie at a basement library (which isnt there in the book)..

Here I must mention that the last scene, where Langdon realises where the sacrophagus of Mary Magdalene is, is one of the best shot scenes in any movie.. The way the camera takes you right to the bottom of the 2 pyramids of Louvre is absolutely breathtaking and leaves a feel-good feeling from the movie..

All in all, its surely not one of those movies that leaves you complaining every 5 seconds that it didnt match the book (well the story line didnt - here n there, but they pretty much stuck to most of the facts), the locations make the movie worth a watch and.. I am surely visiting the Louvre sometime in the future. :-)

The red shirt

"If something can go wrong, it will go wrong." - Murphy's Law

What better example than today? I begain today as my Thursday mornings go.. Group meeting in the morning.. I'd worn one of my favorite tees- a bright red one thats won me a lot of compliments, but in essence a simple red button-down t-shirt... I didnt think anything of it as I pulled it off the hanger from my closet this morning. Little did I know what the day had planned for it...

First sign - As I walked from my office in ERC to my lab in Rhodes, I pressed against the corridor to allow someone pushing a cart to pass. Alas! As I regained stride, my t-shirt pulled at a loose nail and ripped at the bottom.. I was bugged... But there was nothing that could be done now.. I called n awoke my sleeping roommate and asked her to bring me a spare. Till then I would have to manage with this one at the meeting... No biggie..

Second sign - People in close quarters with me will tell you that I do things very fast, almost as if I am in a hurry to finish everything. Thats not the case really.. but I do tend to speed up a li'l.. The best example is of my 'nathanaar' duties at my bro's wedding. Even while I watch the tape, it looks like my actions have been fastforwarded!! I guess all that adrenaline in me needs some outlet! Ok.. back to the meeting... We were having coffee, the one delightful part of the meeting.. Well, to cut a loooong story short, I spilt some over the front of my t-shirt and had to go to the washroom right away.

Third sign - Imagine my horror when I dabbed at the coffee stain with a napkin soaked in water, tiny, almost minuscule holes started appearing at random places on the t-shirt!! I was flabbergasted to say the minimal... But then I figured that I must've spilt some acid on the poor tee before and washing it in water seals the deal (remember how our chem labcoats used to become back in school??) Did u think my sob story was over? Not quite... Read on...

Sign of four - My roomie brings me this cheery candy pink t-shirt. One slight problem - I think its slightly transparent.. And today was the ONE awesome day I didnt bring any sweater or sweatshirt! How tragic can life get?? I actually had to go to the campus bookstore and buy one of their overpriced t-shirts on sale!

Reminders n requests: 1) Anyone who feels bad for me after this t-shirt fiasco and wants to buy me clothes - DON'T BUY ME RED (Have tooooo many of 'em - Any other colours are moooost welcome)
2) If each person I narrate this story to paid me a dollar, I would've looooong reimbursed the 18 bucks I spent on the bookstore one.

The chain story

continued from here

He ambled in past the 19 steps that it took from the gate to the front door. He fumbled in his pockets listening hard for the jingle of the keys. He faintly heard them as he glanced upward prompted by the low grumble of thunder. The bluish sky had turned a stormy grey and clouds had gathered out of nowhere. He found his keys and even as he heard the lock click open, the sky tore apart and the rain came crashing down.

He hurried inside. It was pretty dark and he groped around for the light switch and flicked it on. No change. There was no current. A tremendous flash of lightening accompanied by a clap of thunder eerily illuminated the large empty hall in front of him for half a second. He swallowed hard and reluctantly shut the door behind him, now enveloped by complete darkness. He went over to the coffee table and found his lighter next to the cigars. He used it to find the candles in the drawer of the TV cabinet. A gentle circle of light spread from the candle. He lit a few more and set them some distance apart from each other. The light calmed him and he sat back at the sofa and closed his eyes.

He must've dozed away because the next thing he heard was the splattering of a huge branch on the open front hall window. It was still dark.. the current wasnt back.. And he had no clue how the window had unlatched itself. He cursed the electricity board as he hurried over to shut the window. He reached out of the window to pull it back in when a shadow caught his eye in the almost completely faded twilight. His heart caught for a second before he realised it was a stray dog. What was with him today? Why was everything giving him the creeps. He shook himself off the reverie and latched the window securely. The house felt even more gloomy and silent. He spun around.. the candles had either burned out or their flames had been blown away. He stood there almost mesmerized for a second wondering what to do. Another flash of lightning... with a jolt, he realised he was not alone in the house.

Continued here..

Taste of Asia

Over the past week, I have been to a multitude of places and had a lot of fun... And yes, I did take into hibernation, more out of laziness and loyalty to my good old diary than anything else. This past week was a 'Global Village' kind of thing in UC where they showcase the variety of arts/crafts/food and essentially cultures from different places. We had this Chinese fest which was a short n sweet affair on a crisp Thursday night...

It was a festoon of color, costumes, music and pictures. To me, all the clothes seemed beautiful and authentic and the women, lithe and slim and the men, just as flexible and nimble.. It was a short n sweet portrayal of what seemed like the best portions of China. I went with the intent of sampling authentic Chinese cuisine (fat chance, given that I am veggie) and ended up being drawn by the performaces... really nice and new and a class apart from what I had seen. Most of all that struck me was that they started at 8 and ended at 9 -- unheard of in Desi functions!! It was sweet... And as expected at 9, there was nothing I could chew on, but my thoughts :)

And come Sunday, it was 'Taste of India'. It was an aptly coined name coz the food they gave was basically just enough to 'taste'.. Lol... But that apart, I think, the AID chapter @ UC deserves to be applauded for their continuing efforts as whatever they did... I was an active volunteer last year and have become a bit dormant.. having done enough for the ISA!

The above pic was not @ Taste of India.. was at Deepotsav.. and the basic idea is to give u a feel of the Desi touch @ UC.. And true to Indian standards, the fest itself lasted from 12-3, followed by a movie (RDB again) in the campus theatre... a day's events planned for people like me, who awaiting their stuff to arrive from the likes of Fisher-Sci had nothing better to do! Well, to keep the crowd entertained, our organizers played multilingual songs... And they seemed to have the same DVDs paavam as last year. In fact as I entered, I heard 'Poonkatrile' from 'Uyire' and I was pretty sure it was the same song that had played as I had entered the premises last year. And as for Tamil there are a million, seriously million wonderful songs and guess what was being played next? 'Oi.. enadi Kappakazhange' from 'Dhool'. To the westerners, Rima Sen probably came across as sleazy... what a showcase to India! But the stalls were nice - a lot of colorful mehendi and other merchandise being sold.. including some pretty baubles for women like me... After some food and some timepass, it was some performances. I donot speak ill of children who 'try to perform'. The key word surely here was 'try' because it certainly wasnt 'perform'! Lets just say, Lady Grace didnt grace us at all!

Soon it was tie for the movie... Rang de Basanti @ campus theatre. I expected no one but jobless souls like me to be there (my faithful comrades bade me goodbye coz they all had something better to do! Sob!) but was pleasantly surprised when I walked into an overflowing theatre! Lotsa forgeiners and ofcourse desi public. Having waded in alone, I was even more pleasantly surprised to find Aravind with an empty seat next to him.. I plonked next to him to enjoy the movie a second time.. And enjoyed it much more I must add...

The end of the movie brings me to the end of this blog.. Just a coupla quick thoughts as I conclude --

1) Its very easy to be critical. Having organized a bunch of programmes like this, I can tell you that when you do things, there are somethings that will always get screwed up -- Its Murphy's law. So, when you havent done any arrangements, atleast dont crib!

2) The spirit of a country is always underplayed when you belong to it -- That would explain why I enjoyed the Chinese function far more than the Indian one. The Indian function could never live up to what the 'spirit of India' is to me - I'm glad for that...

Jai Hind!

Yaaay! I m a grad student too!!

Yeah, I know the topic is weird... you'd think I'd know that I was a grad student for the past 2 years almost... But not quite... In my first year here, I was surrounded by the VLSI junta... who couldnt stop touting how difficult their course was... how many projects they had to complete... their deadlines... lack of sleep... lack of appetite... their weightloss... their cool (actually hot - that place was sweltering!) 800 Rhodes Lab nicknamed 'FishTank' blah blah...

Both my roomies were VLSI... Consequently, I saw little of them in the first year... They came home (if they did) at 3 am or so n though I am a self-proclaimed insomniac, I tried to sleep by then so I could be up and gone early.. Around the time I rose was midnight for them and none of our classes clashed etc, so I practically never saw anything more than their sleeping forms next to me! I am in MEMS and even with 4 classes a quarter, I seemed to have more time than them to do most stuff -- cooking, laundry, even steal a movie or two here n there... And I pitied them... Till not so long ago... The VLSI track basically drops after the first year when you have a ton of coursework from insanely high amount of work to practically nothing in the second year when all you have to do is research... As for my track, well, the first year was comparitively all dreamy n nice... with no great amounts of anything... from work to study.... To like a huuuge amount of time in the cleanroom and lab doing some form of research work..

Only the past few weeks, I've felt like a REAL grad student... living on coffee n cookies, sleeping practically in the lab... and up till 3-4 am writing abstracts n what not... And for a change, it actually felt nice! I know that sounds weird... but then atleast you know that something is happening in your research... hehe... And thats a totally different feeling... This past week, I have almost felt disjointed from myself... Theres been too much that I've done... And now that today is my deadline... I have NOTHING to do... Which consequently is reflected in the fact that I have written 2 blogs in one day!

Poor me..

I work in MEMS... So, I work with chemicals... The main chemical I work with is Hydrofluric Acid... It sounds innocent enough right? I mean, you would think that atmost it would be as harmful as say sulphuric acid?

Read on...
_____________________________________________________
Hazards Identification -- HF
Emergency Overview
POISON! DANGER! CORROSIVE. EXTREMELY HAZARDOUS LIQUID AND VAPOR. CAUSES SEVERE BURNS WHICH MAY NOT BE IMMEDIATELY PAINFUL OR VISIBLE. MAY BE FATAL IF SWALLOWED OR INHALED. LIQUID AND VAPOR CAN BURN SKIN, EYES AND RESPIRATORY TRACT. CAUSES BONE DAMAGE. REACTION WITH CERTAIN METALS GENERATES FLAMMABLE AND POTENTIALLY EXPLOSIVE HYDROGEN GAS.

Potential Health Effects
----------------------------------
Exposure to hydrofluoric acid can produce harmful health effects that may not be immediately apparent.
Inhalation: Severely corrosive to the respiratory tract. May cause sore throat, coughing, labored breathing and lung congestion/inflammation.
Ingestion: Corrosive. May cause sore throat, abdominal pain, diarrhea, vomiting, severe burns of the digestive tract, and kidney dysfunction.
Skin Contact: Corrosive to the skin. Skin contact causes serious skin burns which may not be immediately apparent or painful. Symptoms may be delayed 8 hours or longer. The fluoride ion readily penetrates the skin causing destruction of deep tissue layers and even bone.
Eye Contact: Corrosive to the eyes. Symptoms of redness, pain, blurred vision, and permanent eye damage may occur. Chronic Exposure: Intake of more than 6 mg of fluorine per day may result in fluorosis, bone and joint damage. Hypocalcemia and hypomagnesemia can occur from absorption of fluoride ion into blood stream.
______________________________________________________

I rest my case... Poor me..