Super-wives

The term "housewife" is pretty antediluvian in this 21st century. It was coined ages ago to indicate the female head of the household who basically did just that - managed the household. As essential as this maybe, somewhere along the line, the term sort of transcended into a mildly derogatory one.

Oh, Rakesh's wife doesn't go to work. She's just a housewife. This is one of the examples of it's usage in this connotation. As if it were that easy! Surely, anyone should know that you don't have "go to" work to have work to do. And so the term evolved into the less-offending homemaker. This is an American term which has been adopted in the rest of the world to describe the genre of women who stay at home and manage the household. Who ever thought it was easy to manage a household especially when it involves children is probably nuts. That's a full-time job in itself. The same term when applied to an equivalent man would be a stay-at-home dad and not a househusband. Funny.

These days however, is the age of the superwives. Though no one calls us that. We "go to work" and we do work at home. We have office hours too, but we are also adept at cooking, cleaning, washing, laundry, tidying, managing accounts, shopping for household things, and a multitude of other things. Who knows... maybe some day this term will catch up, something along the lines of Soccer-mom or super-mom

Wife or Cook?

The idea behind this post just sprung from a chat conversation with my bro. We were discussing the ongoing bride-hunt for a cousin bro, who is I am unhappy to say younger than me. He barely turned 25 a few months ago and out came the horoscopes and the whole rigamarole of mixing and the matching began. I expressed my views on the whole new arranged marriage deal in this post. Hearing about it all over again, this time with a cousin was a reaffirmation of how the process hasn't really come a long way from back in the days when my parents got married (except for the technology that is).

Wanting to probe into this deeper, I actually asked my Patti, whom I consider a key figure in expediting wedding procedures (well if you think she's been patient in my case, I assure you that it has taken her monumental effort and the only reason she's as cool as a cucumber is that she didn't have any searching to do!) a whole bunch of nagging questions.

Me: Avanuku ipo kalyanam pannikarthuku enna avalo avasaram? Innum 1-2 years pogatume. (Whats the rush for him to get married? Can't it wait a couple of years?)
Patti: Illa dee... Iruvathi anju vayasu ayachu... Engineering mudichachu.. nalla velaila irukan... samblam koodindu iruku... Jaipur la thaniya irukane... Kalyanam aana veeta paathuka yaravadhu irupa la... (No dee.. He's 25, Has completed a degree in Engineering, has a good job, has an increasing salary, is alone in Jaipur.. If he gets married there will be someone to take care of the house)

Me: Basically, veeta paathuka dhaan pondati. (You need a wife to take care of the house?)
Patti: Cha cha.. Illa dee... Avanuku vela velaiku vidha vidhama samachu poda yaravadhu irupa la... (Not at all.. Someone has to be there to cook a large variety of food for him for every meal)

Me: So samayalkaari nu solla vare.. (Oh you need a cook then..)
Patti: Paithyakara thanama edhavadhu solladhe.. Kala kaalathuku kalyanam panna dhaan azhaga irukum. Apram aathukararku samaikardhoda enna velai? (Don't talk nonsense. If you get them married early only, it looks nice. What better work than cook for the husband?)

Thats what I am talking about... Most single men away from their mollycuddled homes tend to get married early... not because they are financially sound and can support another individual, etc. But from the elderly perspective apparently to have a cook free-of-charge! I am not generalizing... For all I know, this is a TamBrahm trait.