Happily ever after…

Everyone wants this… the happily ever after in their lives. The three golden words - where they find the man/woman of their dreams, get married and live happily ever after. Of course that’s the fairytale version. And it’s short and sweet. In reality and in this day and age, however, there are more coordinates in the equation, more things that need to be perfect- that perfect job/career for both of you, that perfect house to live in… those perfect kids in the future… everything needs to align for those magic words to come together – happily ever after. In the earlier days I think people’s expectations were in accordance to times or what maybe considered not-too-ambitious these days. More women were homemakers where they would follow their husband to wherever he was working because he was the “breadwinner”. As with everything, there were exceptions. These days… both husband and wife are career-conscious and let’s face it, for a luxurious life, two incomes are better than one… and it’s common for both men and women to work outside their hometown. Take the best standing example – the oh-so-common situation in the US these days. I know so many couples who started out in different states and had to work their way to the same one. It involved compromises on either end for the final goal of being together to be achieved. It was never this hard in “simpler times”. It used to be uncommon for the guy to quit his job, move to the city where his wife was and even considered “giving in” to his wife (this was equated to being subordinate – don’t ask me why). Even after everything, maybe one of them didn’t end up with their dream job, the best salary or any of the other things that matter to each one individually. But this was “happily ever after” till the other things worked themselves out. Or till you worked towards them. And once that first step - getting together has been achieved, the rest of happily ever after should follow in due course of time (or so we all hope). Here’s to fairytales and happy endings!

The joy from sharing

People are different in many ways. How they behave, how they talk, walk, blah blue, but of course... But here's an interesting one - The way people deal with joy. Traditionally, though I am a "private" person, I enjoy sharing my source of happiness with my closest friends. That's what makes it finite for me. What I mean by that is that by revealing my source of happiness to my closest gang/family, I have them revel in my success/accomplishment/blah and that's what makes it even more special, in that they validate the event for the huge happening that it is. Take getting accepted into the University of your choice for example. Sure, you don't tell "everyone" till you've gotten your visa and are all set to fly... but you do tell the people that matter. And their encouragement, appreciation and happiness for you is what makes the whole event seem even more special than it already is. It's sort of on the same lines of not saying something unpleasant loud for the fear of realizing that it is true.

However, I've come to realize that many other people deal with their joy in ways different from mine. And I've categorized them as the -
Rooftop Howler - Ava enna paathu sirichutaaa (Alaiypayuthey style... share-the-joy-with-the-rest-of-the-world-and-it-multiplies type)
Cautious Cat - Why tell everyone till everything is settled? (Better-safe-than-sorry type)
Apprehensive Hold-it-all - Not everyone has the best intentions/vibes to you, so why share with anyone just yet? (Share-the-joy-with-others-and-it-divides type)
Worry wart - Everything's going too well to be true. Can tragedy be around the corner?

Interesting, isn't it? I guess it's each person's innate nature to deal with their lives differently and of course we all learn to accept it. The oldest expectation in human nature is perhaps reciprocation. Something along the lines like - I told you all of this, so why can't you tell me the same? Everyone is different and chooses to react to different situations differently from one another. Joy is one of those unexpected things. Happiness is not as easily shared with everyone by all. Of course in my unsolicited opinion, the others are missing out on something. Sharing with the right people does multiply joy. Opinions, anyone?