September 8, 2008

Love-o-logy

Finally I feel content to say that we live in the age of love... where true love prevails... where so many of my friends have fallen in love and made unions of their choice and not through matrimonial services. I have been fortunate enough to witness inter-caste marriages, inter-lingual marriages and even inter-religious marriages and all of this within India... that is a huge deal. What's bigger is the consent of the older generation. Almost everything I've witnessed has been lovingly arranged by the families themselves... In the stories where there are 2 different traditions to choose from, both have been duly upheld causing no grief to anyone involved. It's all very feel-good. And importantly, I applaud the older generation for taking it in their stride and consenting to what their children think is best for them. Instead of the old-fashioned dramas that our Indian soaps never fail to portray... threats ranging from 'cutting off the will' to suicide. Futile and stupid. Finally the generation that is getting married are treated as adults and allowed to choose their partners, trust their judgements and plan their lives together. This face of India is almost unrecognizable from the days barely 20 years ago when the bride and groom 'met' at the mandap. At least the urban face of India. But even the rural part has come a long way in this regard. In comparison to the past of course. I know now, for instance that in my grandma's village the girl can turn down the proposal... that she is asked for consent before proceeding with the arranged alliance. At least that saves a lot of unnecessary bride burning and other mental trauma that goes with the territory. Lets hope India has more n more development to offer in many diverse areas in the years to come.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I do understand your sentiments but am not really sure ....I think the so called love marriages happen mostly outside India.If you analyze why poeple abroad fall in love some of the things that come in mind is:

a) They don't want to marry back in India as they want to stay abroad and they also want thier spouse/husband to work as it is difficult to support the family with single income and dont want to haggle with visa issues.Many people suddenly fall in love when green card is due.
b) Many people fall in "love" in grad school ...but mostly if you dig into the background you see that they come from same caste,creed (etc iyer's marrying iyers,brahmins marrying brahmins,gujjus with gujjus), I have rarely seen a hindu marrying a muslim or a christian , or let alone a brahmin marrying a non brahmin ( 1-2 cases DONT QUALIFY as proof of concept as they have been happening since Mughal times)
c)Parents who are ready and willing to send thier sons/daughters abroad cannot be seen as conservative
d)If poeple truly love each other they would enjoy's each other's company ....but if you see after a year of marriage, they suddenly lose interest in each other and tell other single people not to marry to be happy or say marriage is a big trap.So marriage of convinence CANNOT be termed as love marriage

Jaya said...

Anon -> Thats a bit of a cynical viewpoint I think... What prompted the post is some of my friends marrying other religions etc with family approval blah... SUre they maybe ONE case of a 100 and all that but still there's the one! And yes, the cases are all for those abroad... But I've seen the intercaste thing back in India as well... So I guess its just that I've been fortunate to see some of these happen to my own friends withmy two eyes. And thankfully I am yet to see a marriage of convenience. Thank God for that :)

Anonymous said...

Looks like you are newly married.Enjoy and have fun !!!

Jaya said...

Thanks Anon... bliss it is :)

Sachin said...

Ya ya, more development must happen in diverse areas. I have a lot of ideas about it and lets discuss them some time....

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