November 2, 2007

Bye Bye USA

Note: These set of blogs are going to be doused in nostalgia, sprinkled with inconsistency and sprayed with fond memories. This is a part of my USA memoirs.

As I near the end of my stay in the US, with less than a month away, what am I feeling?

Its one of those complex questions and merely by not thinking about it, I have successfully avoided answering it. But its a big question and its been creeping in a little by little as the days come to an end. And living each day for it's merit is slowly drawing to a close. As I was consolidating my stuff and trying to pack everything, it hit me. This is it. I don't know when I am ever coming back again. If I am ever coming back again. As a professional? As a tourist? As a dependent? Ever? No clue. And that riles me. When we all left India to pursue our dreams in this Land of Opportunity, we were never really leaving India. We would always go back. Our roots were there and every vacation began with the Indian dream. But this is entirely different. What does it mean to leave a country where your personal identity was established? Where you first figured what being independent was? First lived away from home, paid your own bills, made ends meet, tried your hand at cooking, woke up to an alarm? Maybe all of this means nothing to someone who has had the "hostel" experience back home too. But for me it was all a first. And most of it was exhilarating. I was completely free to do as I liked. I could come and go as I pleased to wherever with whoever and I was free to choose my activities and everything about my life. Having been raised by very liberal parents, I have little reason to complain. But that was still different. We had to tell Amma we would be late coming home. And late still meant before 11:30 at night. Even as I leave the country to fall into stride with my matrimonial plans, with my future academic plans, my life is yet again entwined with at least one more individual's if not more. My decisions will now impact more than just me. I have grown up. And I have grown past the famed single phase as well. Did I make the most of it while it lasted? Looking back, I think I did. I made some of my closest associations with people over here... Gained a few precious friends, made many business contacts, saw many famed places out here (I haven't seen the Grand Canyon - it's going to have to wait for later), etc. etc. Its a mixed emotion. Maybe coz what I have to look forward to is soo exciting, I tend to believe I won't miss the US much (I bet I will miss the "deals" mainly on electronics - but what are friends for?)

Are they any regrets? Honestly - No. I have realized a place is only as good as what you make of it. With the right company, even a place like Ames seemed fun. I have been fortunate to find joy in the loneliest quarters. I will miss being a cell-phone call away from many many dear friends... But I am sure we'll all find a way to communicate just as well all the same. For now, I look forward to what has got to be the best chapter(s) in my life.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

good luck. keep writing.

Nitya said...

Great post girl. It must be tough being in your shows right now. All the best!:)

Nitya said...

oops I meant shoes..

Jaya said...

Thanks for all the support guys.. I will keep writing and amusing myself. :)

Santhosh said...

"have realized a place is only as good as what you make of it. With the right company, even a place like Ames seemed fun"

I'm going to try and bookmark this post. I know soon, I will be faced with the exact same situation - and may be would help me to come back and read this awesome post again. In you month here, if you ever happen to be in NY, please let me know :)

Jaya said...

Hehe.. Thanks Santhosh.. Unfortunately, so close to leaving, I won;t be able to visit my favorite US city.. I will certainly meet u in India.. once I quit...

Anonymous said...

MEN MAY COME AND MEN MAY GO BUT I GO ON FOREVER I AM SURE U STILL REMEMBER THIS POEM AND SO IS LIFE AND WITHTHE LAND OF OPPORTUNITIES SHIFTING TO DEVELOPING NATIONS AND WITH THE DOLLAR DIPPING DOWN TO RS 39 AND YOUR MARTIAL PLANS U SHOULD BE HAPPY TO QUIT THE PLACE MINUS OF COURSE IS THE FRIENDS PART AND WITH TECHNOLOGY AROUND THE WORLD IS TOO SMALL......GOOD LUCK

Anonymous said...

WELL DONE GAL KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!!
IT WAS REALLY TOUCHIN 2 READ UR BLOG.BUT V R ALL SURE DAT U WILL ALWAYZ B CHEERFUL LET ANY COUNTRY U LIVE IN
GUD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Aravind said...

nejama, romba senti aakkittai nee......indeed it was quite a life in cincy! i honestly wish to see more of u in US.
btw,now with u heading back, i suppose i am the undisputed chatter box champ ;)

Nithya said...

"...a place is only as good as what you make of it."

You proved this during your stay in the US! you made the most out of all the experiences you underwent. I am sure you will continue doing that wherever you go. Good luck! :)

Jaya said...

Wow guys.. Thanks to all for all the sweet messages. Keep visiting. :)

Sandhya said...

Written beautifully :). After having lived here I can relate to each and every word. You've put it so perfectly. Your so gifted....keep blogging. Will miss you.

Jaya said...

Thanks Sandy - will miss u loads too.. We are just going to have to make a few trans-atlantic trips. What say?

Kavitha said...

Really nicely put. I imagine this is how I'd feel when I leave too (whenever that may be).

Good luck with everything!

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