February 1, 2007

And you are sentenced to 2 months of cabbage cutting...


And sooo last night was my cooking turn and I innocently turned to my wily roommate and ask her, "So what shall I make for dinner?" After a pretense of loads of thought she came up with the masterplan.. "Cabbage... Make it our South-Indian Style.. and we can have it with rasam." I looked at her in disbelief... Cabbage? Is that the worst thing she could come up with? For those of you who think I am exaggerating, I suggest you try and cut one yourself.

I have this habit of either standing at the kitchen counter and cutting the veggies or sitting on the sofa and watching TV and doing the chore. This time the choice was obviously the latter considering I was going to be taking forever.. and spot on I was... 35 minutes later, I was still left with 1/8th the stupid cabbage and 2 overflowing bowls of already cut ones, not to mention the circle of mess at my feet from the strewn pieces. I shot daggers at my roommate. She was responsible for all of this. And then I knew it was her revenge to my requesting her to make rasam the other day! Hmph.

And then I realized that our government back in India or anywhere else dont realize that they have a gold mine sitting on them. Imagine sentencing someone like this - "You are sentenced to 2 months of cutting 600 cabbages with a blunt knife." I know what you are thinking. Why blunt knife. Come on.. you are 'sentencing' someone.. you might as well make it hard. I promise you.. once you enforce such a sentence on someone, in a week you will see remorse, in a month even suicidal tendencies (they do have a knife!!) and if they last the 2 months, they are never ever gonna commit any crime remotely big enough to land them a sentence! I am yet to meet someone who "likes" cutting cabbage. And someday, when people are hatching plans to rob a bank, they will discuss - "Pakde jayenge to muhjse gobhi katvayenge.. nahi baba!!" roughly translated as "Should I be caught, they'll have me cut cabbage.. Oh no!" Think about it.. the crime rate dips, the cabbages from the cutting can go into making good food for the jail inmates themselves (or to the neighboring village or something), the frozen cabbage industry can flourish, the economy improves and on and on and on... Ok ok... I know somethings are best left as fantasy. Stew the cabbage!

6 comments:

Priya said...

haha..!! Thats hilarious...but true :D The only way I try to enjoy this ordeal is by going crazy with the knife on the cabbage..chopping it any which way I want..!! How about making it a de-stresser instead of a distress-er !!

Jaya said...

Priya -> Cutting cabbage NEVER involves any pattern! Wo could make out any shape in that ridiculous thing?!?! But u must admit.. it WILL make a gud prison sentence! :D

BTW, good comment on the destresser part!

Sudarshan said...

Dont think i am actually gonna cook cabbage since anyway i dont like it...i think its to do with taste/smell it leaves behind...really would prefer not having cabbage...

haiknalsjdf said...

hilarious di!!!! i luve the way u write..so cute!

by the way..totally agree..i dont think i've even touched cabbage for over a year bc of that reason!

Ram said...

Good one! You should ask Sowmiya about my Cabbage Cutting for her kootu!

Jaya said...

Sud -> Cabbage is tasty if u make it right. Try it sometime (eating not cutting :) )

Rajni -> Thanks kiddo and keep visiting.

Bala -> Thanks.. Will ask.

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