Bye Bye USA

Note: These set of blogs are going to be doused in nostalgia, sprinkled with inconsistency and sprayed with fond memories. This is a part of my USA memoirs.

As I near the end of my stay in the US, with less than a month away, what am I feeling?

Its one of those complex questions and merely by not thinking about it, I have successfully avoided answering it. But its a big question and its been creeping in a little by little as the days come to an end. And living each day for it's merit is slowly drawing to a close. As I was consolidating my stuff and trying to pack everything, it hit me. This is it. I don't know when I am ever coming back again. If I am ever coming back again. As a professional? As a tourist? As a dependent? Ever? No clue. And that riles me. When we all left India to pursue our dreams in this Land of Opportunity, we were never really leaving India. We would always go back. Our roots were there and every vacation began with the Indian dream. But this is entirely different. What does it mean to leave a country where your personal identity was established? Where you first figured what being independent was? First lived away from home, paid your own bills, made ends meet, tried your hand at cooking, woke up to an alarm? Maybe all of this means nothing to someone who has had the "hostel" experience back home too. But for me it was all a first. And most of it was exhilarating. I was completely free to do as I liked. I could come and go as I pleased to wherever with whoever and I was free to choose my activities and everything about my life. Having been raised by very liberal parents, I have little reason to complain. But that was still different. We had to tell Amma we would be late coming home. And late still meant before 11:30 at night. Even as I leave the country to fall into stride with my matrimonial plans, with my future academic plans, my life is yet again entwined with at least one more individual's if not more. My decisions will now impact more than just me. I have grown up. And I have grown past the famed single phase as well. Did I make the most of it while it lasted? Looking back, I think I did. I made some of my closest associations with people over here... Gained a few precious friends, made many business contacts, saw many famed places out here (I haven't seen the Grand Canyon - it's going to have to wait for later), etc. etc. Its a mixed emotion. Maybe coz what I have to look forward to is soo exciting, I tend to believe I won't miss the US much (I bet I will miss the "deals" mainly on electronics - but what are friends for?)

Are they any regrets? Honestly - No. I have realized a place is only as good as what you make of it. With the right company, even a place like Ames seemed fun. I have been fortunate to find joy in the loneliest quarters. I will miss being a cell-phone call away from many many dear friends... But I am sure we'll all find a way to communicate just as well all the same. For now, I look forward to what has got to be the best chapter(s) in my life.