Linguistically biased?

PS: This blog is a reflection from the same situation I've been faced at many stages when I meet new people. Nothing happened recently to prompt it.

Have you ever been faced with this situation? You're in a group of Indians predominantly speaking one regional language. And it happens to be your Mother tongue too. Yet, there are some people who assume you don't speak it well. While I've found that preposterous and ultra-presuming each time, I thought I should dig a little deeper to see what makes these people assume such things. And conclusively it was one of two things -

1. My English is so well-developed that they've assumed that I speak English with everyone around and just a smattering of the regional language, to my family included. Loosely translated: Pure BS. I mean, just because I am one "Mary" (English speaking Tamil woman - read "Peter's" female equivalent), doesn't mean I can't speak  great Tamil. Come on!

2. Dialect: Being from a TamBrahm family means that my Tamil has remained sheltered in spite of all the Chennai glory years probably because most of my closest friends are TamBrahm as well. So sure, we have a lot of specific lingo which the others probably don't understand sometimes but hey, it's a two way street . And even if it does sound different, you don't hear me mocking your poyirchu to my poyiduthu , both essentially meaning "it has gone" or use the age-old wise-crack of naan kolathuku poren (I'm going to the pond) while I ask "aathuku polama?" (Brahmin lingo for "shall we go home". Basically aar(th)u also means river in Tamil). And speaking a different dialect doesn't preclude me from understanding others. And just 'coz my vocabulary in galeej words may not match some others', it needn't lead to the conclusion that my Tamil isn't proper. 

 

I'd love to extrapolate that logic to English and see how many people actually know English. Now wouldn't that be fun... throw in the word play and we'll have a riot. Nakkal? Not really.

On the other hand, out of the blue, time's freakin' flying, don't you think?  It's the end of May!

Spare the hair

I was just talking to SS about this one. For as long as I can remember, I have never been encouraged to cut my hair by my family. Not when I suffered with lice when I was very young, or with hair fall from the water change from Kuwait to Madras... not when my hair suddenly became curly in XII grade and in return became as unmanageable as a dense forest (I swear I had insanely straight hair till then.. something that was plait-able and we used to tie it in half with a ribbon, typical of the south Indian innocent school girls). I guess I stopped caring about their opinions once I got to college. Even then, it only extended as far as getting a trim. I suppose it is part and parcel of the TamBrahm expectations that the girl keep growing her hair infinitely. Not that it follows the plans you have for it. My own hair stops at a threshold level for a very long time, awaiting a cut or something else. This is somewhere mid-back for me I think. For almost 2-3 months, there is absolutely no appreciable growth in my hair. But once it gets past it, there's no stopping it. Not just does it lose all its conformality and has the mid section growing away leaving the sides limping behind, but it also loses its tendency to curl a lot. In other words: Time for a haircut. I chop it down to just past my shoulder and the cycle repeats itself. Only since I went to the US, I have stopped mentioning my haircuts to the folks back home. It is invariably followed my a lament... Yen di cut panne? Adhu batuku valandhundu irundhudhu (Why did you cut it? It wasn't like it was a bother). Wasn't? Er... excuse me.. what about the weekly (sometimes, twice-weekly) routine of oiling, shampooing and conditioning my hair? And then to comb the knots out of it... it's insane. No sooner am I done with one section of my hair, the very same section develops more miraculous knots. Not just that... with hair like mine, the best days for it are close to hair-bath day when it's a bit flat. Or else, I am like Medusa, with springs of hair in every direction, rather than snakes... I don't know what's with the TamBrahm girls-should-grow-their-hair obsession in any case. It's a bit absurd. But no one reacts to it normally. There's a dramatic hush and lowered tones and there's a plea not to tell the dads. Previously it was like, kalyanathuku epdi jadai veppom? (How would we attach the false hair thing for your wedding?) Now after, it's more like - onoda aathukararke onnum illaina naanga enna solla (If your husband doesn't mind, neither do we). Girls, the solution is right in front of you - find a modern man. :D