Love me for ONE day

If you guessed that this post was about Valentine's Day, you're dead on. It's one of those things that you probably frowned upon when you were single. Or if you were anything like us, went out with all your other single friends and had a blast yourselves... or it's one of those things with astronomical proportions, now that you are hitched. What gift to buy your significant other? Is it really required? What if you don't buy him anything as you both had agreed and he surprises you with something? And all those other dimensions in the whole game of sexual politics.

But I find it extremely odd that someone chooses ONE day off 365 to feel loved. As in, every other special day probably directly relates to you (think birthdays, anniversaries) or to your culture/religion (Diwali, Christmas). But this whole Mother's Day, Father's Day, Brother's Day and Valentine's Day business is just that - business. Apparently even in this economic crash, the United States is expected to spend close to $14.7 million (Google News) over gifts/chocolates/candy and what not. And this is what has brought what is predominantly a Western culture thing eastwards to India and other countries. Not that I think you should go boycotting it and massacring people the way Ram Sene is doing in Karnataka. It's people's own decision to celebrate what they want and any political party cannot assume the rights to tell them what they can/cannot celebrate. Many people keep it simple and make reservations for dinner and go out just as a couple. That's fine, considering if you were to dine out on any other day, why not strategically on a world-wide romance day? But the whole "Be my Valentine" thing is overrated, especially if you are in a long-term relationship, like marriage. Wouldn't it make sense to celebrate a more personally special day such as your anniversary, for instance rather than jump the bandwagon with a bunch of romance-crazed teenagers? Small gestures by either of you would normally be considered sweet on any other day... but the reputation of the day somehow demands something bigger. Like, you are hardly likely to consider it a gesture worthy of Valentine's Day if your husband did the laundry/picked up the groceries/washed the car/put in 100€ into your savings account, etc. on this day. On any other day this would've probably meant a lot more. And somehow the expectations of this day are far more personal. And they illogically do not fall into the 'you-love-me' category unless it's especially for you. Be it a card, flowers, candy, jewelry, lingerie or whatever else that it is that people buy these days.

Personally, I think people should opt for the watered-down version. Keep it simple. Do something together that gives you joy, if you feel the need to celebrate the day, that is... Maybe go for a hike, a riverside picnic or maybe just reserve the specialties for your own personal milestone days. Makes it far more special, don't you think, when you are celebrating something that is known just to the two of you, rather than the entire universe... Something to think about.. On that note, advance Happy Valentine's Day :)

True love stories

Some love stories just touch you...like this one - http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081012/ap_on_re_us/holocaust_love_story

And when it's like this, you know is meant to be. In a time of such difficulty... reunited worlds apart... Somethings just make you believe in fate. This is one of those.

Love-o-logy

Finally I feel content to say that we live in the age of love... where true love prevails... where so many of my friends have fallen in love and made unions of their choice and not through matrimonial services. I have been fortunate enough to witness inter-caste marriages, inter-lingual marriages and even inter-religious marriages and all of this within India... that is a huge deal. What's bigger is the consent of the older generation. Almost everything I've witnessed has been lovingly arranged by the families themselves... In the stories where there are 2 different traditions to choose from, both have been duly upheld causing no grief to anyone involved. It's all very feel-good. And importantly, I applaud the older generation for taking it in their stride and consenting to what their children think is best for them. Instead of the old-fashioned dramas that our Indian soaps never fail to portray... threats ranging from 'cutting off the will' to suicide. Futile and stupid. Finally the generation that is getting married are treated as adults and allowed to choose their partners, trust their judgements and plan their lives together. This face of India is almost unrecognizable from the days barely 20 years ago when the bride and groom 'met' at the mandap. At least the urban face of India. But even the rural part has come a long way in this regard. In comparison to the past of course. I know now, for instance that in my grandma's village the girl can turn down the proposal... that she is asked for consent before proceeding with the arranged alliance. At least that saves a lot of unnecessary bride burning and other mental trauma that goes with the territory. Lets hope India has more n more development to offer in many diverse areas in the years to come.

Love before first sight?

Disclaimer: The views in this blog are solely my own.. Its not meant to hurt or disrespect anyone's sentiments. Also, I am not giving any form of "how-to-find-love-online-advice". So don't ask me for any. Just kick-back, relax and read forward..

I have been meaning to write this post for quite sometime now.. To start with.. how many of you believe in love-at-first-sight? I am sorry to disappoint you.. but I am not one of those die-hard romantics who does. In fact I am cynical about the whole thing because I believe that at first sight what you at the most feel is an electric attraction to the looks of the person which I personally don't classify as "love". That it may blossom into something beautiful in future... that you may cherish it years ahead, that it was 'just-right', etc doesn't count here.

But coming to the modern world... how many of you believe in love-before-first-sight as I've coined it? This is the age of 'internet-love', where MySpace, Orkut etc. are the best matrimonials that singles can themselves rely on... Having truly witnessed many such unions between people who didnt know each other from Adam, I can tell you it exists and its true. And in many ways, I feel that its more real than love-at-first-sight. Its a purely mental connection that happens and you like the person for who he/she portrays themselves to be. Its not physical (hopefully) and you share similar interests (hoping more so) etc. But this is the deception point as far as I am concerned. This way of finding love has sooo many holes in its fabric that you're lucky if you find anything pseudo to true-love. What if the person is sooooo not what they claimed to be? What if their tiny thumbnail picture on their profile was one moment of surreally great photography? What if they lied about anything from their hobbies/interests to their educational/family background? There are sooo many 'what ifs'. Yet, how are these hundreds of people finding love?

I'll tell you when love-before-first-sight has the best chance of working..

1) Timing is everything - The people involved definitely need to be the right age and 'marriage material' - What may not have worked on a girl even 6 months ago may as well work for someone who "tried" right now coz she is all ready to 'settle-down'

2) A little bit of genuinity - Lies ain't gonna build no love castle... All the stuff people say better ring true

3) Taking it beyond the scrapping - No love stories are truly built around the initiator engines.. The stories have to transcend these boundaries into the IMs - Yahoo!, MSN, GTalk or whatever works for you and then on, you'll be surprised at how similar the process is to the typical matrimonial engines themselves. (Except you arranged it for yourself! )

And so on... you get the idea...

So, how many of you believe in love-before-first-sight? I do....