The creepy crawly in me

When does going to the loo in the middle of the night become an adventure? When you are extremely careful not to wake the sleeping husband. When the ancient wooden floors resonate creaks with every move. When the bathroom door makes it's typical whine as it eases open. When the light switch in the bathroom also sets off the exhaust fan. Ah so many parameters... which make the simple act of a midnight loo break into some bizarre game. And typically I have found a foolproof strategy. But of course, there are steps involved. And most of them involve creeping around in the dark and pausing to hear supersonic sounds. And once you're done, you can allow yourself a sigh of relief for a game, well-played as you tuck back into sleep. And if the husband is awake and only pretending to sleep? Well... he gets an eyeful of you looking extremely stupid creeping around in the dark in your own home.