Arachnoid experiences

The occurrence- I was innocently watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy sitting on my sofa while my peripheral vision detected some movement at the exterior. A quick scan confirmed my fears. A medium-sized spider had wandered into the middle of the hall.

Me– Holy crap! What was I supposed to do? I hurriedly called the husband never taking my eyes off of the 8-legged uninvited ‘guest’. He asked me to remain calm – “It’s just a spider. Watch where it goes.. I’ll be there soon and get rid of it”. Just a spider? I made a mental note to remember that when the situation demanded it. But for now, it made sense right? Watch where it went and tell on it as soon as S got home. I left the sofa to stand in one of the corners giving me and the spider about 3 feet of clearance – enough I assumed for me to bolt if required. For about an eternity the spider that hurriedly scampered out from nowhere didn’t move. It must’ve been a minute when it made a sudden lunge for under the dining table. Oh no.. not the kitchen! I hurried right behind it to try and close the kitchen door. The spider hurried faster. I managed to shut the door. As I hurried over, I realized that was not where the spider was headed at all. It darted under the dining table. I stood there dancing on my toes (what if it sprang on to me with some unforeseen prowess?) trying to keep my eyes on it’s whereabouts. I spotted it scampering beneath the table to beneath the sofa. I figured that that was it. The dark recess under the sofa would be where the spider sought solace. Wrong again. In a few seconds I saw it run along the corner towards the TV. Basically it was running around the perimeter of the room. Unsure of what to do next, I kept hovering expecting the spider to run out all over again. To my horror, I realized that the bedroom door was open. I couldn’t deal with a spider when I was awake.. how was I ever going to sleep if it got into the bedroom? Fear forgotten for half a second, I darted to shut the door. My sudden movement jolted the spider who headed straight for me. I hopped, skipped and jumped with squeals and successfully avoided it while it finally made it’s way to the kitchen. Damn! Nothing I could do now. I grabbed my keys and left the house.

The repercussions for the spider- Oops… If only I’d known that that vent was into the bathroom of a house and not to the outside! Ok, now I am in the middle of some room and there’s a HUGE creature that’s dancing around, obviously to kill me. Got to find a way out! Lemme run around the room looking for an exit. That table place seems about right to start. No.. nothing… Under the sofa? Nope not there either… near the TV? Holy crap.. the creature is closing in on me! Now what? Let me shock it by running into it. Ok here goes… Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn… and I made it! Ah there’s a vent in the kitchen. Go for it. Whoosh, I’m out of the house.

What transpired next – I keep glancing back behind my shoulder sulking all over for the next 3 hours jumping at every shadow… suspecting every movement to be an 8-legged thing. I am finally convinced that a spider that couldn’t sit still for 2 minutes when I spotted it could barely lurk around for 3 hours and not show itself. It must’ve gone.

Talk about irrational fears, especially when it comes to creepy-crawlies.